Tampon jokes

How do you embarrass an archaeologist? You give him a tampon and ask what period it's from.

A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"

The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."

Why don't midgets use tampons?

Answer: They are always tripping over the string.

What did one tampon say to the other tampon?

Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches!

Bro, tampons look like sperms, and they go up your coochie.

A black lady goes inside the drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you carry tampons?" Then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "Do you want the mini pads or the maxi pads?"

And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"

And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"

And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."

Why do tampons have strings? So you can floss your teeth when you’re done eating.

How do you know when a woman is going to have a black baby?

When she takes the tampon out, all the cotton is picked.

Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks, “A Bloody Mary?”

The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me.”

“Hot water?”

“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea.”

A black lady goes inside the drug store on Eight Mile Road in the city of Detroit, Michigan, and asks the pharmacist, "I would like to buy a box of tampons."

And then the black lady is asked by the pharmacist, "Do you want to buy the box of mini pads, or do you want to buy the box of maxi pads?"

And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"

And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"

And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."

This morning, I was having a conversation with my ex-boyfriend about reincarnation. I said to him, "If you could come back in the next life as anything, what would you come back as?" He thought about it for a minute and says, "A tree. That way, everybody can look at me and admire me."

Then he says the same thing to me. I started thinking about it when these two sexy, half-naked studs walked by. One was a jock, the other on his bicycle. I know I said I want to come back as a jockstrap or a bicycle seat, but knowing my luck, I'll come back as a tampon.

Yo mama so big, she thought Christopher Rhoades was a tampon.

Q: There were two tampons walking down the road the other day. Guess what they said to each other?

A: Nothing, 'cause they're both stuck-up cunts.

My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking, so I brought home some tampons.

What do tampons and your sister have in common?

I don’t see what the problem is.

The Supreme Court came up with a solution to the tampon shortage, yet all the liberals are pissed!

How did you get into the tampon 100?

Pull some strings!

You know why women wear tampons?

So the crabs could bungee jump!

Yo mama's so fat, she used a telephone pole as a tampon.

Why do female parachutists have to wear tampons before they jump?

So they don't whistle on the way down!