Tampon jokes

How do you embarrass an archaeologist? You give him a tampon and ask what period it's from.

A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"

The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."

Bro, tampons look like sperms, and they go up your coochie.

Why do tampons have strings? So you can floss your teeth when you’re done eating.

Why don't midgets use tampons?

Answer: They are always tripping over the string.

Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks, “A Bloody Mary?”

The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me.”

“Hot water?”

“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea.”

How do you know when a woman is going to have a black baby?

When she takes the tampon out, all the cotton is picked.

What do tampons and your sister have in common?

My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking, so I brought home some tampons.

A black lady goes inside the drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you carry tampons?" Then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "Do you want the mini pads or the maxi pads?"

And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"

And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"

And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."

I don’t see what the problem is.

The Supreme Court came up with a solution to the tampon shortage, yet all the liberals are pissed!

Q: There were two tampons walking down the road the other day. Guess what they said to each other?

A: Nothing, 'cause they're both stuck-up cunts.

How did you get into the tampon 100?

Pull some strings!

Yo mama so big, she thought Christopher Rhoades was a tampon.

You know why women wear tampons?

So the crabs could bungee jump!

What did one tampon say to the other tampon?

Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches!

Why do female parachutists have to wear tampons before they jump?

So they don't whistle on the way down!

This morning, I was having a conversation with my ex-boyfriend about reincarnation. I said to him, "If you could come back in the next life as anything, what would you come back as?" He thought about it for a minute and says, "A tree. That way, everybody can look at me and admire me."

Then he says the same thing to me. I started thinking about it when these two sexy, half-naked studs walked by. One was a jock, the other on his bicycle. I know I said I want to come back as a jockstrap or a bicycle seat, but knowing my luck, I'll come back as a tampon.

What do feminists and tampons have in common?

They're both stuck-up cunts.

Yo mama's so fat, she used a telephone pole as a tampon.