Health jokes
What do you call an accomplished opera singer with recurring gonorrhea?
Standing ovation!
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes a while to put you under.
"You is so black your mama fainted."
You know what's the most awkward situation in the world? A rapper with erectile dysfunction.
POV: You accidentally get H in your IV drip.
Memes
Shitpost-master general
What happens when you have a bladder infection? You're in trouble!
Q: What is found deep inside of us, and the more we express our love for each other the more it spreads throughout the world?
A: Covid.
It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient.
He was a great vet.
You lost 30 lbs when you joined Weight Watchers, and lost another 10 lbs when they shaved your back.
Q: What is the worst thing to hear your surgeon say?
A: Oops, I dropped my lollipop!
Why does Aaron eat burgers on a Wednesday? Because his spine is bent, and his favorite gun in Apex Legends is the G7 Scout, and he uses the speedy Spanish man.
I got evicted from the hospital today for telling all the patients to stay positive!
What a negative effect!
Yo body so plastic that a turtle could choke on your peeled skin!
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."
What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup?
They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.
Why can't you say hi to a drug addict?
They'll say "yea."
I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.
I'm always forgetting these kinds of jokes. I also forgot my son's name.
At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.
It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.