Health jokes
I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.
What site does a vegetable go to when he/she is stressed?
cornhub.com
Kids in wheelchairs can't stand up for themselves if there's a bully.
When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:
Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?
What is big and long and hard?
A cucumber!
What comes in and comes out, but you should never miss it?
Any ideas?
SHIT!!!!
You're so fat that you cause your heart to have panic attacks.
She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?!”
I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!”, and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person, he didn't hear the joke.
What do you call two Hispanics with Parkinson's disease?
Maracas.
Why can't Oregon go to the doctor?
Because they need parents' signature.
Who is the blindest person in the world?
He slips, he falls, he dislocates his balls!
You know what I like most about people with Parkinson's... Their handshake!
When the kid in the wheelchair scares you... you wheelie scared me.
You're so fat that when you went outside, you broke the 2-meter rule for COVID.
A depressed kid gave me a high five. I left him hanging.
Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?
He's all right now.
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!