Blowjob Jokes

Anonymous 2.0

in Dirtiness

A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.

The Special

So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot, then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"

Cannibal

Anonymous

What's the definition of trust?

Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs.

2

Roger N

What's the best thing about a blowjob? - The silence.

randommmm

Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

Sans

Son: Dad do you remember your first blowjob? Dad: Ohhh yeah I do! Son: How did it taste? Dad: Get out.

0

Chin

Anonymous

What do u call nuts on ur chest? Chestnuts What do u call nuts on the wall? Walnuts What do u call nuts on ur chin? A blowjob

4

Anonymous

What's the best thing about midgets??

They don't need to bend while giving blowjobs.

Pay

Anonymous

Did you hear that Alicia wrecked her Lexus? It's really a shame. She had to give her dad 3 months worth of blowjobs before he'd pay for it.

Adult

Anonymous

Did you ever received a anonymous blowjob from another male under the handicapped stall inside the public men's restroom at a rest area and did you have a orgasm and was it the best orgasm that you ever had?

Adult

Anonymous

What does a glory hole and a confessional booth have in common? blowjob is anonymous

Banana

Anonymous

Why did a girl like bananas?Because one day she might need to be ready.

Dwarf

Anonymous

What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up give a blowjob

Anonymous

in Fellatio

How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man into giving him a blowjob? the gay man ask the heterosexual man if he wants to give him a brojob

Sad Sad Sarah

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold on to your nuts, this ain’t no ordinary blowjob.

Chris

in Fat

My brother goes into the bar and says bartender give me 12 beers and a shot of whiskey. The bartender says that's a lot of alcohol. My brother says celebrating my first blowjob. The bartender said let me buy you a drink. My brother said no this should be enough to get the taste out of my mouth.

Krispy

in Prostitution

I seen your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing. Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.

SilentEcho

So There was a male whale and a female whale swimming threw the ocean .One day the male whale sees a ship and says "that's the ship that killed my parents" . So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea. The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive so he opened his mouth and went for the man but out nowhere the female whale yells. " HEY!!, I was in it for the blowjob but I'm not gonna eat sea men"

Elijah Palmer

What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup? They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.