Health jokes
It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient.
He was a great vet.
What fell first, the feather or the depressed kid?
Q: The feather, the depressed kid is still up there.
I got evicted from the hospital today for telling all the patients to stay positive!
What a negative effect!
Yo body so plastic that a turtle could choke on your peeled skin!
What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup?
They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.
You lost 30 lbs when you joined Weight Watchers, and lost another 10 lbs when they shaved your back.
Why does Aaron eat burgers on a Wednesday? Because his spine is bent, and his favorite gun in Apex Legends is the G7 Scout, and he uses the speedy Spanish man.
What happens when you have a bladder infection? You're in trouble!
Q: What is found deep inside of us, and the more we express our love for each other the more it spreads throughout the world?
A: Covid.
Why can't you say hi to a drug addict?
They'll say "yea."
I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.
I'm always forgetting these kinds of jokes. I also forgot my son's name.
Q: What is the worst thing to hear your surgeon say?
A: Oops, I dropped my lollipop!
It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.
Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!
Q. What is Terri Schiavo's favorite Eminem song?
A. "Till I Collapse."
POV: You accidentally get H in your IV drip.
What did the doctor say to the mother after delivering the baby? Sorry.
Post Malone was in the hospital, but he is BETTER NOW.
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a boogie in it!