Health jokes
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
In life, some people have it harder than others.
That's why Viagra exists.
I suggested to my girlfriend that she would look sexier with her hair back.
Apparently, that’s insensitive to someone during chemo.
Did you hear about the deaf guy's STI?
He got hearing aids.
What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.
I keep hearing "Obesity kills."
My only question is "Why is it taking so long?"
I thought when my friends called me curvy, it was a compliment, but it turns out they were referring to my spine.
I should probably stop making jokes about bulimia. They just leave a bad taste in my mouth.
What do you get when you mix Viagra with spinach?
Strong to the finish.
Crazy? I was crazy once, they put me in a room with rubber rats. Rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once...
Why can't you be gay and in a wheelchair?
Because you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
Yo mama so fat, the only letters that she knows are KFC.
I know a lot of people hate tapeworms, but they will always have a special place in my heart.
What do dentists call their x-rays?
Tooth pics.
"Hey Kels, what's on your arm?"
"Oh, that was the cat."
"We don't have a cat..."
"Oh..."
You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
Is their [there] a doctor anywhere?
My mom has a few problems & those problems is [are] that my mom has big tits, fat ass & sweet pussy that needs attention. Help anyone.
My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?
Why shouldn't you make fun of burn victims?
Because they've already been roasted!