Wrap jokes

I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well, it was more of a wrap.

A guy goes to see his psychiatrist dressed only in bubble wrap. When he gets there, he asked the psych, "Can you please help me?"

The psych says, "No, I'm sorry, I can clearly see your nuts."

How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

He forgot to wrap his Whopper.

What is the best way to end a cookbook?

And that’s a wrap!

Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap.

He was high on my list of priorities.

What did the French Fry 🍟 say to the Hamburger 🍔?

I guess that’s a wrap!

Q: What kind of Christmas music do elves like?

A: “Wrap” music.

Why does a heterosexual man swallow the sperm of another man after he has given him a brojob?

Because of the cream filling inside, just like the individually wrapped cakes of Hostess Twinkies.

Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?

Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.

A man is consoling his nine-year-old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted.

"You need to be more careful," he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."

A patient walked into a psychiatrist's office last week wrapped in nothing but Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist said, "I can clearly see your nuts."

I went to the pharmacy the other day. I tried to buy a pack of condoms, but I pretended I didn't have enough money to mess with the cashier.

I went back into the aisles of the store, got a pack of rubber bands and plastic wrap, bought them, and walked out. I loved the look on the cashier's face when they saw my decision.

Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?

So it doesn’t explode when you’re fucking it.

Paul Walker made a new wrap cover, it's called "Flying Through the Windshield," and the song's name is "Crossing the Street."

A black n***a crashes a neighborhood barbecue, bragging about his 'hood credentials' while hogging all the ribs and collard greens. The host calls him out, 'Yo, pay up or get out. Ain't no freebies here.' He laughs it off, 'Man, I run this block!' But the host's burly brother, who's been grilling the whole time, snarls, 'Wrong, fool. Time to settle the score.' He pins him against the picnic table, wraps a chain leash around his neck from the dog run, edges him with a vibrating basting brush slathered in hot sauce, and then plows his ass deep and hard, grunting, 'Now you're the main course, spicier than the jerk chicken!'

I wrote a song about a tortilla.

Actually, it’s more of a wrap.

What's a rapper's favorite type of food?

Wrap sandwiches.

What did the rapper say to the SANDWICH?

"Wrap it up!"

A man walks into a doctor's office, naked and wrapped in Glad Wrap.

The doctor replies with: "I can clearly see your nuts."

What kind of paper likes music? Wrapping paper.