How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
Why does a heterosexual man swallow the sperm of another man after he has given him a brojob?
Because of the cream filling inside, just like the individually wrapped cakes of Hostess Twinkies.
Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap.
He was high on my list of priorities.
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well, it was more of a wrap.
A GUY GOES TO SEE HIS PSYCHIATRIST DRESSED ONLY IN BUBBLE WRAP. WHEN HE GETS THERE HE ASKED THE PSYCH, cAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME? THE PSYCH SAYS NO, I'M SORRY, I CAN CLEARLY SEE YOUR NUTS.
A man decides on a day that it is time to buy a pet. He goes to the pet store, looks around and sees a beautiful parrot, sitting quietly on a stick in his cage. Yet the beast has no feet and paws. "What is the matter with you?" the man thinks aloud. "Well, that's how I was born, I'm actually a faulty parrot" says the bird. "Haha," the man laughs, "it seems like that parrot understands what I'm saying and even answers!" "I understand everything you say, I am extremely intelligent and very well educated," says the bird. "Well, if you're so smart then tell me how you can stay on your stick without legs." "Well," says the parrot, "it's a bit embarrassing, but okay, I wrap my little parrot penis around the stick, like a hook, but I hide that with my thick feathers." "Wow, you really understand everything I say, do not you?" "Yes, yes," replies the bird, "and I speak Spanish and English fluently, I can speak on a level about almost everything, politics, religion, sport and philosophy and I specialize in bird science, you should buy me, I am also a very good friend for you. " The man looks at the price tag, 200 euros is on it. "Sorry, I can not afford that." "Psst," whispers the parrot as he beckons the man with his wing closer. "Nobody wants me because I do not have legs, just bid 25 euros and you can take me with you." The man offers 25 euros and walks 5 minutes later with the parrot out of the store. A few weeks pass. The parrot is sensational. He is fun and interesting, gives good advice, is sympathetic to everyone, in short; the perfect roommate and friend. One day the man comes home from work and the parrot says "Pssssssssssst" while he beckons his wing again. The man comes close to the cage. "I do not know if I should tell you this," says the parrot, "but it's about your wife and the postman." "What!?" says the man. "Well, the postman came to the door and your wife greeted him in a nothing disguised nightgown and kissed him flat on the mouth." "And then," the man hisses, "What happened then?" "Well, the postman came in, grabbed her nightgown and started caressing her everywhere." "My God," says the now furious man, "And what else did they do?" "Then he took off her nightgown, went through his knees and started to lick her everywhere, starting at her breasts and getting further and further down." "And then, what happened, what else did they do?" the man screams . "No idea," says the papgaai, "I got a boner and thundered off my stick ..."
Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?
Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper
A man is consoling his nine-year-old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted.
"You need to be more careful," he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."
i went to the pharmacy the other day. i tried to buy a pack of condoms but i pretended i didnt have enough money to mess with the cashier. i went back into the aisles of the store got a pack of rubber bands and plastic wrap bought them and walked out. i loved the look on the casheirs face when they saw my decision.
Did you hear about Paul Walker's rap? Wrapped around that tree.
What is the best way to end a cook book?
And that’s a wrap
Paul Walker made a new wrap cover it's called flying through the windshield and the song's name is crossing the street
What did the French Fry 🍟 say to the Hamburger 🍔?
I guess that’s a wrap!
Q: What kind of Christmas music do elves like? A: “Wrap” music
What did the rapper say to the SANDWICH?
"Wrap it up"
What's a rapper's favorite type of food?
WRAP SANDWICHES
A man walks into a doctors office, Naked Wrapped in Gland Wrap.
The doctor reply’s with:
“I can clearly see your nuts”
I don't got a pencil or pen in this bookbag Added like ten to the clip 'cause it look bad Don't give a fuck if you pissed, nigga, get mad Or you can bitch and get killed with your bitch ass Lil' bro got blood on his shirt with his Crip ass Go write a diss and get murked, don't do shit ass Bitch, I'm a star, I might burst with my stiff ass Hop out the car like, "Who want it? Who with that?" I don't know nothin', I was gone when they did that Bandana wrapped where my chrome and my wig at If he want beef, hit his home with a Big Mac Niggas be breakin' the code like a Kit-Kat Runnin' your mouth like a ho get you bitch-slapped
I wrote a song about a tortilla
Actually, it’s more of a wrap
Peaches-REMAKE-By-Justin Beiber and watersharky Music Productions- I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit) I get my weed from California (that's that shit) I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch) I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it) And I see you (oh), the way I breathe you in (in), it's the texture of your skin I wanna wrap my arms around you, baby, never let you go, oh And I say, oh, there's nothing like your touch It's the way you lift me up, yeah And I'll be right here with you 'til the end I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit) I get my weed from California (that's that shit) I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch) I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it) You ain't sure yet, but I'm for ya All I could want, all I can wish for Nights alone that we miss more And days we save as souvenirs There's no time, I wanna make more time And give you my whole life I left my girl, I'm in Mallorca Hate to leave her, call it torture Remember when I couldn't hold her Left her baggage for Rimowa I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit) I get my weed from California (that's that shit) I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch) I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it) I get the feeling, so I'm sure (sure) Hand in my hand because I'm yours I can't, I can't pretend, I can't ignore you're right for me Don't think you wanna know just where I've been, oh Done being distracted The one I need is right in my arms (oh) Your kisses taste the sweetest with mine And I'll be right here with you 'til end of time I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit) I get my weed from California (that's that shit) I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch) I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it) I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit) I get my weed from California (that's that shit) I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch) (I get my light right from the source, yeah, yeah) I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit) I get my weed from California (that's that shit) I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch) I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it) I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit) I get my weed from California (that's that shit) I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch) I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it)
