Health jokes

Taco Bell makes you crappy.

So I made a simple cancer joke on Roblox with my friend, and then both her dumb-ass friends were like, "OMG WHY WOULD U SAY DAT? YOUR HORRIBLE!!" That pissed me off. Like damn woman, it's not like I said, "IF PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY DIED FROM CANCER THAT MEANS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE ALL DUMB-ASSES." If anything they are actually dumb asses but hey. Also they can't talk. They don't know that I'm abused everyday at home and pressured to get good grades or else I'd get my head bashed against a wall till there is blood. So if they are reading this, SUCK MY ASS BITCH.

Why does the nurse need a red pen?

In case she has to draw blood.

Somebody stole my joke.

So I stole their spinal cord.

A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."

A 90 year old man takes a Viagra.

Strips off naked, lies down in an alley way. Three chicks walk on by: a blond, a brunette, and a red head.

The red head said, "I'm not letting that go to waste," so she strips off and rides him. When she's finished,

The brunette then strips off naked and rides him. The blond's now worried because she just got her period. The red head sez, "He's dead. Don't let it go to waste," so she strips off naked and rides him. Then he wakes up. He then says, "Wow, two jump starts and a blood transfusion. I'm good to go!"

Oh, my fat joke offended you? Which one of your chins did I hurt?

What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.

I was gonna tell a memory loss joke, but I forgot it.

What part of a vegetable can’t you eat?

The wheelchair. 😑

My dick itches.

Don’t suicide! Please don’t, it’s horrible, and you will hurt so many people that love you.

That’s why no one will be hurt.

What has a kid with cancer and Peter Pan in common?

They will never grow up.

What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.

Did you hear they found a cure for autism? It's called Zyklon B.

Light it up blue 🔵

What did Melania ever see in Donald Trump?

$2 billion and high cholesterol.

"Stand up for yourself! Oh, come on, walk it off."

If you have a broken bone, do you have broken skin?

What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.

What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?

McBongald's.