Covid Jokes

Covid 19 stopped mass shootings faster than the Government.

I got kicked out of the hospital because I told all the COVID-19 patients to stay positive.

I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.

I am still trying to figure out why paying the COVID doctors a compliment is so offensive. They even kicked me out, and all I said was to stay positive...

I didn't know that COVID-19 was a thing until I saw your eyebrows and your hairline social distancing.

How do you get Carrie Underwood to dehydrate fast?

Tell her that all the water supplies contain the COVID vaccine.

Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID. Son (in a happy tone): I know. Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad? Son: Well yesterday you told me to spread positivity.

How Chinese is COVID? About the same as those red MAGA hats made in China.

Yo mama so stupid she studied for a COVID-19 test.

Why did the heterosexual man put a mask on his cock to protect himself from COVID? Silly boy.

Dr Fauci would be surprised to know that R Kelly didn't catch COVID-19. But since COVID is 19, it's too old for him.

I was going to go hunting but then I realized, schools are closed due to covid.

For all the people with Covid-19, I just want to say... Stay positive.

At the resturant, the waitress starts flirting with me. "She must have COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. "Cuz she clearly has no taste." She responded.

Home Covid Test.

1: Open a can of beer and try to smell it.

2: If you can smell the beer, drink it to see if you can taste it.

3: If you can taste it and smell it, this confirms you don't have Covid.

Last night, I did the test 15 times and all were negative. Tonight I am going to do the test again because this morning I woke up with a headache and feeling like I am coming down with something.

I am so nervous.