Infection jokes

This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"

"Harry Hicks smells of home. Homo is an infection, and infections are made up of atoms."

How come lepers don't play cards?

Well, if they lose a couple of hands...

Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?

What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?

Monkeypox.

Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.

Walked into a bar the other day and a group of sailors were being loud and shouting about all the women they have in port that had given them gonorrhea...

Bloody seamen.

What happens when premenstrual Raggedy Ann gets with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.

What are all grandmas infected with? Defiantly not a parasite!

I'm not saying you're annoying.

But if a yeast infection were a person, it would be you.

What is a lot?

Syphilis.

What disease do you get from shoving a dirty, rusty piece of metal up your ass? Tetanus.

Recently, I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker downtown in Manhattan, New York, thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.

What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese.

When Covid spreads through food, but you realized you live in Africa.

What do you get if you cross a loaf of bread with a vagina?

A yeast infection.

Dr. Fauci would be surprised to know that R. Kelly didn't catch COVID-19.

But since COVID is 19, it's too old for him.

One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him.

There was a crying pandemic going around.

If certain diseases spread in water, why does Africa have them?

Are you corona? Cuz it’s hard to breathe around you ;)