Infection jokes

"Harry Hicks smells of home. Homo is an infection, and infections are made up of atoms."

This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"

Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.

How come lepers don't play cards?

Well, if they lose a couple of hands...

Walked into a bar the other day and a group of sailors were being loud and shouting about all the women they have in port that had given them gonorrhea...

Bloody seamen.

I'm not saying you're annoying.

But if a yeast infection were a person, it would be you.

What is a lot?

Syphilis.

What happens when premenstrual Raggedy Ann gets with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.

Recently, I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker downtown in Manhattan, New York, thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.

Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?

When Covid spreads through food, but you realized you live in Africa.

Dr. Fauci would be surprised to know that R. Kelly didn't catch COVID-19.

But since COVID is 19, it's too old for him.

What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese.

What do you get if you cross a loaf of bread with a vagina?

A yeast infection.

What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?

Monkeypox.

Are you corona? Cuz it’s hard to breathe around you ;)

One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him.

There was a crying pandemic going around.

Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.

What do you call a 3-sum with a girl with AIDS?

Nut in the butt.

What are all grandmas infected with? Defiantly not a parasite!