Chair

Anonymous

What do you call a chair that smokes weed?

A high chair

High

Daddy Jack

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke marijuana, Jack got high pulled down his fly and ask if she wanna, Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and had a little fun, stupid Jill forgot the pill now they have a son

4

Girlfriend

Anonymous

What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Stop and apply lubrication.

3

Saw

D.A.D. Jokes

I saw a sign the other day that said "Maximum penalty for smoking is £1,000" But that’s not right. Surely the maximum penalty for smoking is Death.

Animal

Anonymous

What do you call a fish that smokes? “A puffer.”

Hotness

ImAPerson

Cremation, The last chance for a smoking hot body.

3

Woman

Anonymous

Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you’re super annoying and won’t shut up.

4

Parent

Anonymous

One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. Little Johnny asked, “Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?” His grandpa replied, “Can your penis reach your asshole?” “No”, said Little Johnny. His grandpa replied, “Then you’re not old enough.” The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. He asked, “Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?” His grandpa replied, “Can your penis reach your asshole?” “No” said Little Johhny. “Then you’re not old enough.” his grandpa replied. The next day, Little Johnny was eating cookies. His grandpa asked, “Can I have some of your cookies?” Little Johnny replied, “Can your penis reach your asshole?” His grandpa replied, “It most certainly can!” Little Johnny replied, "Then go fuck yourself

7

Card

Abhor

A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards… The steaks were pretty high

High

Ya Boi Skinny P....

When midgets smoke weed do they get high or do they get medium

Wife

The Escaped Cancer Cell

After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park. Lord: Has something happened while I was gone? Gardener: Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burrying your dog. Lord: My dog died?! Gardener: Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down. Lord: My mansion?! How?! Gardener: Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains. Lord: Why was she so distraught? Gardener: She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped. Lord: My daughter! Don’t you have any positive news for me?! Gardener: Oh right! Your cancer test results!

3

Offensive

Apache attack helicopter

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said you know you wanna. Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son.

High

Ruby

When a miget smokes weed do they get high or medium

Dad

Heisenberg

My dad always wanted one last smoke before his death so we smoked his ashes.

High

Addison

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched Jill’s thigh and said “I know you wanna.” Jill said yes, took off her dress and then they had some fun. But silly Jill forgot her pills and now they have a son.

Stupid jokes

Anonymous

He: “Do you smoke after sex?”

She: “I don’t know. I’ve never looked.”

Little Johnny

Anonymous

Little Johnny walks in on his grandfather smoking a cigar. “May I smoke a cigar?” Asks Johnny.

The grandpa replies “Well, does your dick touch your asshole?”

Johnny replied “No.” and left the room.

The next day Johnny sees his Grandpa getting into a car.

“Can I drive the car?” Asks Johnny.

“Does your dick touch your asshole?”

“No.”

The day after that, Granpa sees Johnny about to eat a cookie.

“Johnny, may I have some of your cookie?” Asked the grandpa.

“Does your dick touch your asshole, grandpa?”

“Yep.”

“Then go fuck yourself, this is my cookie.”

1

Potato

Anonymous

what do you call a retard smoking weed? a baked potato

4

Hope

Anoynoumys274

Cremation: My last hope for a smoking hot body.

Party

School Shooter Memes

When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. 🕺🕺🕺