I nutted on the wall, call that a walnut.

What did the wind say to the palm tree? Hold onto your nuts this is no ordinary blow job.

Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.

What do you call a nut on a Wheelchair?..a busted nut.

Why do vegetarians give good head? Beause they’re used to eating nuts.

Why did the squirrel do the backstroke? He wanted to keep his nuts dry.

What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? – He nuts and bolts.

What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well beer nuts are 49 cents but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer you won’t understand it.)

What did the nut chasing the other nut say? Imma cashew

In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle dave…

Do you know Imagine Dragons Yeah Imagine Dragon my nuts across your face

A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy. And his owner beats him.

have you heard of the… uh Pokemon called uh rhy… rhy

rhydon deez nuts

What did one nut say to the other? Ignore the guy in the middle. He’s a d!ck.

A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick. The Bartender asks him why And the Pirate says: Argh, It’s driving me nuts.

A pirate walked into a bar with his ship’s steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, “Hey! What’s with the steering wheel?” The pirate says, “I don’t know but it’s driving me nuts!”

I asked my doctor if it was normal for one of my nuts to be bigger than the other two.

Yo girl…do you like squirrels, because i’m about to nut in your hole

A GUY GOES TO SEE HIS PSYCHIATRIST DRESSED ONLY IN BUBBLE WRAP. WHEN HE GETS THERE HE ASKED THE PSYCH, cAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME? THE PSYCH SAYS NO, I’M SORRY, I CAN CLEARLY SEE YOUR NUTS.

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “Because”, he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”