Nut Jokes

A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy. And his owner beats him.

A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick. The Bartender asks him why And the Pirate says: Argh, It's driving me nuts.

8

ok this isnt a joke but its funny.

Roses are red, nuts are brown, Skirts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin, when its stiff, stick it in. It goes in dry, comes out wet, the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag, its not what you think, its a lipton tea bag.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well beer nuts are 49 cents but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer you won’t understand it.)

8

The popular girl told me "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!" Two weeks later, She shows up pregnant.

... I guess her rubber broke too

What did one nut say to the other? Ignore the guy in the middle. He's a d!ck.