What did the wind say to the palm tree? Hold onto your nuts this is no ordinary blow job.

What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well beer nuts are 49 cents but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer you won’t understand it.)

A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick. The Bartender asks him why And the Pirate says: Argh, It’s driving me nuts.

What did the nut chasing the other nut say? Imma cashew

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “Because”, he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”

Why do vegetarians give good head? Beause they’re used to eating nuts.

A pirate walked into a bar with his ship’s steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, “Hey! What’s with the steering wheel?” The pirate says, “I don’t know but it’s driving me nuts!”

A GUY GOES TO SEE HIS PSYCHIATRIST DRESSED ONLY IN BUBBLE WRAP. WHEN HE GETS THERE HE ASKED THE PSYCH, cAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME? THE PSYCH SAYS NO, I’M SORRY, I CAN CLEARLY SEE YOUR NUTS.

Do you know Imagine Dragons Yeah Imagine Dragon my nuts across your face

Why did the squirrel do the backstroke? He wanted to keep his nuts dry.

A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship’s wheel in his pants. The bartender asks, “What’s with the wheel in your pants?” The pirate replies, “Yarrr! It’s drivin’ me nuts!”

Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.

What did the wire say to the electrician Stop twisting my nuts

What did the bus driver say to the nut 🥜? Where do you live

How do you get a squirrel down from a tree? You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.

The Cheerio Joke

Let’s say you’re in high school, and your popularity level was badlsed on what Cheerio you are. So there’s Extra-Frosty cheerios as the most popular kids, the frosted cheerios were the popular kids, the Regular Cheerios as the typical normal kid, then there’s the honey nut Cheerios as the nerds and geeks, and then there’s your cheerio which is the Chocolate cheerios. Now you want to ask this girl who’s an extra frosty, you go up to her and ask her to Homecoming, but she declines. So after school gets out, you go home and rewind. The next day you wake up feeling like a honey nut cheerio, so you go up to her again and ask her again, she still says no. So you go home and rewind again and wake up the next morning feeling like a Regular cheerio. So you go to school and ask her again, she still declines. So you go home and rewind again. The next morning, you wake up feeling like a frosty cheerio. So you go up to her and ask again, still says no. Then you go home and unwind. The next day you wake up feeling like an extra frosty cheerio. Feeling doubtful, you go up to her one last time and ask her. She finally says yes. The next day is Homecoming, and you and your date are on the dance floor, and she wants punch. So she tells you that she’s going to go get punch. She goes and gets punch and is back in 30 seconds. You ask her why it was so fast. She replies with; “Oh there want a punch line.”

Yo girl…do you like squirrels, because i’m about to nut in your hole

What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? – He nuts and bolts.

There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says hes gay- he can’t be tho… he’s allergic to nuts!

What do you call a nut on a Wheelchair?..a busted nut.