What did the wind say to the palm tree? Hold onto your nuts this is no ordinary blow job.

What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well beer nuts are 49 cents but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer you won’t understand it.)

Why do vegetarians give good head? Beause they’re used to eating nuts.

A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick. The Bartender asks him why And the Pirate says: Argh, It’s driving me nuts.

Why did the squirrel do the backstroke? He wanted to keep his nuts dry.

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “Because”, he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”

A GUY GOES TO SEE HIS PSYCHIATRIST DRESSED ONLY IN BUBBLE WRAP. WHEN HE GETS THERE HE ASKED THE PSYCH, cAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME? THE PSYCH SAYS NO, I’M SORRY, I CAN CLEARLY SEE YOUR NUTS.

A pirate walked into a bar with his ship’s steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, “Hey! What’s with the steering wheel?” The pirate says, “I don’t know but it’s driving me nuts!”

Do you know Imagine Dragons Yeah Imagine Dragon my nuts across your face

Why did the chipmunk swim on its back?

To keep its nuts dry

What did the nut chasing the other nut say? Imma cashew

What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? – He nuts and bolts.

I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants and it was drivin me nuts

Yo girl…do you like squirrels, because i’m about to nut in your hole

Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?? He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.

Me:what’s that girls name from phinease and ferb the sister Crush:candice Me:candice dick fit in your mouth Crush: slaps me Walks away

There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says hes gay- he can’t be tho… he’s allergic to nuts!

One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail-mix. I guess you could say I f...ing ate a different kind of nut

What do you call a nut on a Wheelchair?..a busted nut.

How do you get a squirrel down from a tree? You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.

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