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A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick. The Bartender asks him why And the Pirate says: Argh, It’s driving me nuts.

Why did the squirrel do the backstroke? He wanted to keep his nuts dry.

A pirate walked into a bar with his ship’s steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, “Hey! What’s with the steering wheel?” The pirate says, “I don’t know but it’s driving me nuts!”

Why did the chipmunk swim on its back?

To keep its nuts dry

A GUY GOES TO SEE HIS PSYCHIATRIST DRESSED ONLY IN BUBBLE WRAP. WHEN HE GETS THERE HE ASKED THE PSYCH, cAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME? THE PSYCH SAYS NO, I’M SORRY, I CAN CLEARLY SEE YOUR NUTS.

Do you know Imagine Dragons Yeah Imagine Dragon my nuts across your face

Why do vegetarians give good head? Beause they’re used to eating nuts.

Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?? He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.

My puns drive people nuts, this is usually when I bolt away

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “Because”, he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”

Me:what’s that girls name from phinease and ferb the sister Crush:candice Me:candice dick fit in your mouth Crush: slaps me Walks away

Yo girl…do you like squirrels, because i’m about to nut in your hole

What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? – He nuts and bolts.

How do you get a squirrel down from a tree? You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.

a student was peeking in on a 10/10 chick and the guy was about to nut. the school shooter patted his back and told him to leave his corpses alone

What do you call a nut on a Wheelchair?..a busted nut.

If you have 20 apples and you ate 2 how many you have left? 0 because you have 20 and and take away 2 you have 0 left.

What does a robot do after a one night stand? He nuts n bolts

This disabled kid walked up to me so I asked what disease he had. He said Lima. So I said, come again? And he said Lima nuts and I asked if that was a fruit and he said. No I’m a vegetable.

Got head from a girl with down syndrome. She wouldn’t let me cum in her mouth, so I busted my nut on the windows… Nature will take its course.