Health jokes
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
What time is it when you walk walk? Time to trip and fall!
In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
I ain't shaking anyone's hand, not because of the Coronavirus... I ain't shaking anyone's hand because y'all out of toilet paper!
What do you call a duck on drugs?
A quackhead.
What do you call a group of depressed people?
Sue-icide squad.
People having seizures are just people dreaming about rollercoasters.
Where do bunnies go when they're sick?
The hoppital.
You're so fat, that you're fat.
What do you call an Italian with an anesthetic?
Ruberto
Cancer is so easy to beat. I'm already at stage four!
Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"
I can't stand disability jokes.
What’s better than winning gold at the Paralympics?
Walking.
What goes in and comes out and makes you feel good but isn't sexual?
(Insulin)
I did not believe in COVID-19 until I saw your teeth social distancing.
I'm black, and I have a dying family in my basement that hasn't eaten in 2 weeks. They need help.
Btw, it's a joke lol.
Yo mama's so fat that she used a telephone pole as a tampon.
I wish I was blind.