Health jokes
So uh, I did this thing where I put soap on my brother's toothbrush, and then I put more on and colored it to make it look like toothpaste, and uh, he is constipated now. I AM EVIL :3
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
A man once went to a doctor because his leg was turning blue.
The doctor said that his leg had to be amputated as it was getting poisonous.
The man then got plastic prosthetics.
Next day even the prosthetics started turning blue.
After much examination, the doctor found that the patient's pants were shedding color.
What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?
They both have special needs.
Why download Fruit Ninja when you have your arm?
What do you call a rapper with a cold?
Lil Sneezy.
Why do women get periods?
Just cancel the subscription.
Sippin' on promethazine With lean, I fell in love.
I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup.
"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."
"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"
"Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body amputated? He’s all right now."
If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
What do you call a Black man having a seizure?
Chocolate shake.
What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?
Monkeypox.
Your mamma is so dumb, she went to the dentist to get Bluetooth.
What do you call it when someone fucks shoe inserts?
Orthopediphilia.
What's black and eats Kitty?
Serval cancer.
Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny
Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.