Health jokes
I work on medicine; my job is to smell it to see if it's bad :)
What do fish smoke? A puffer.
You have a problem with jokes about dementia? That's funny, I don't remember asking.
Why do orphans not know if they're lactose intolerant?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
What's black and eats Kitty?
Serval cancer.
Memes
What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?
Monkeypox.
What do you call it when someone fucks shoe inserts?
Orthopediphilia.
Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny
Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.
As a doctor myself, that nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!
Q: What did the little girl say to her leper daddy?
A: "Oops, I got your nose!"
I got shot once. Now I'm holey.
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
...Because there's always a cast!
"You need to cease, all those fat cuz u obese."
Why didn't the doctor help the orphan?
Because he was a family doctor!
How to get rid of non-vaccinators: call water a "dehydration vaccine."
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.
You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."
Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.
What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?
Have a blood transfusion.