Health jokes
Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny
Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.
Why do Blondes never suffer from headaches?
No brain, no pain.
What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?
They both have special needs.
Every zodiac sign has a hairstyle, except Cancer.
Why do women get periods?
Just cancel the subscription.
"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."
"What do you give a man that has everything? Penicillin."
Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?
Dry Vegetable.
Why did the bee go to the doctors?
Answer: Because he had hives.
What is the American virus? Diabetes.
"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."
What do you call inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off.
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"
"Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body amputated? He’s all right now."
As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.
If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.
What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?
They both hang by something.
What do fish smoke? A puffer.
You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.