Health jokes
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"
"Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body amputated? He’s all right now."
As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.
If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.
Memes
What is the American virus? Diabetes.
What do you call a cowboy with Down syndrome? A whipped potato.
Why do Fortnite players have such good teeth?
Because they like to floss.
What do you get if a disabled person falls off a building? Mashed potatoes.
What do you call a doctor that's a skeleton?
Doctor Bones.
Me: Knock, knock.
Other person: Who’s there?
Me: Atch.
Other person: Atch who?
Me: Bless you!
What do you do if a woman is choking? Pull out a few inches.
Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.
He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.
When I saw your face, it instantly made me throw up.
My favorite bartender serves drinks so strong, he gives a "get well soon" card with each one of them!
You're so fat that when you were born, the nurse mistook you for the father.
Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"
Why is it always cold in the hospital?
To keep the vegetables fresh.
I can't stand up when I laugh hard; neither can they.
"What do you tell a person with depression?
Just hang in there, buddy!"