HIV test jokes

Me: spreading positivity.

Everyone else at the HIV testing center.

My happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my H.I.V. test without studying.

What’s the only positive thing about Freddie Mercury’s death?

The HIV test results.

My mom told me to be positive...

I was heading to an HIV test.

A blonde went to an HIV test. When she came back, she said, “The doctors say that I’m all positive!”

I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.

So I'm banging the fuck out of this slutty chick, right?

And I'm thinking to myself, "She's PROBABLY got AIDS." So I go and get myself tested and, lo and behold, I'm positive.

This gets me thinking, "Where the fuck does an eight year old get AIDS?!"

"Who has my sister been hanging out with?!"

A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: Do you know how often people die from AIDS?

I said: Now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.