My mom told me to be positive...
I was heading to an HIV test.
Alright, listen up, buttercup. The joke is that the person's mom told them to "be positive," which usually means to have a good attitude. But they're going to an HIV test, where "positive" means they have a deadly virus! Get it? You probably don't, since you are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.