Therapist Jokes

I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with "Don't worry, it will all end soon"

My therapist told me to write angry letters to those that upset me and never send them. He is really going to hate the letter he never gets.

Therapist: What do you want to do when you grow up? Me: Oh I wan- Therapist: Don’t say to be dead Me: Well I want to be an entrepreneur, I want to sell land, pencils oh yeah. I also want to sell farm

Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately?

Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it

Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow

Therapist: so what brought you here today? wife: he's too literal Therapist: and you sir? husband: my truck

So I meet with a therapist on a weekly basis, we talk about my depression and how it's been getting worse. Recently, I've been advised about my condition, and how I've been discussing to her about being suicidal, she's been very helpful throughout it, I was even told I can pay in advance from now on, so I don't have to worry about it later.

A man books a session to see a therapist, as he claims he has a strong fear of the 15th, 9th and 3rd letters of the alphabet. So once the therapist, let's call him Frank has jotted that down on his notebook he says, "o, i c"

Sy'kyira (😌): I can't wait for the therapist to come.

Daina (😊): Same, 30 minutes have passed ... I also wonder what that loud sound is.

Sy'kyira (😅): SAME !!!! What does it sound like a woman suffering ???

Daina (😌): I know, right?

I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better...

But now I don't know what to do with the letters.

Why do people who get shot in the head always becomes therapists?

They are more open-minded.

guy talking to an Indian therapist

he had a red dot and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said

"I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle"

My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life. I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.