Crack Jokes

Anonymous

Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”

Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.

“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.

“Correct,” says the teacher.

The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”

Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.

“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.

“Correct again,” says the teacher.

The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.

This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”

Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”

Anonymous
in Sea

Once there were twins, Mark and Michael, Mark was the owner of a old boat. It so happened that Michael’s wife died the same day that Mark’s boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I’m sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible. "Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, “Heck no. In fact, I’m sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shrivelled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn’t very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!” The old lady fainted. 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

Anonymous
in Girl

Whats the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?

The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.

2
John cena
in Anti-jokes

Why didn’t the toilet paper make it across the road?

It got stuck in a crack

Anonymous
in Egg

Are you enjoying my yolks. I bet there making you crack up. If not, I better scrammble

Agus
in Egg
  • I think you´re EGGcellent.
  • Wow… You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you`re a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
  • Really? Are you done yet?.
  • Are you kidding? a have a DOZEN of them.
Anonymous

What time do butts get up? At the crack of dawn!!!

2
Anonymous

How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?

Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.

0
Anonymous
in Puns

Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road Because it was stuck in a crack

0
Anonymous

Girl playing outside: step on a line and you break your mommy’s spine She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming

Girl playing outside :step on a crack and you break daddy’s back She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming

The husband starts celebrating gets in the car and starts to drive away

The son comes outside and steps on a crack

The dad then dies in a car crash

Anonymous
in Depression

Why doesn’t my egg wants to crack? Because I hate my egg-sistence.

4
Anonymous
in Roast

Yo mama’s so fat, when she fell I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

Life sucks

Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common?

A: They aren’t much to look at but you can’t help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.

Anonymous
in Egg

Somebody told another person that they would meet at the crack of Dawn. Lets just say Dawn got very mad.

Morbid

What does your mom and a slinky have in common?

They aren’t much to look at, but you can’t help but crack a smile when you see then tumbling down the stairs.

2
I mason-Greenwooded ur mom

Ur mom is so fat that when she fell on the Sidewalk, nobody laughed but the sidewalk cracked up

Anonymous
in Yo mama

yo mama so fat she got arrested for carrying ten pounds of crack

Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”

Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.

“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.

“Correct,” says the teacher.

The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”

Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.

“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.

“Correct again,” says the teacher.

The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.

This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”

Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”

BatmanTehNoob
in Titanic

People on the Titanic were Cracking Up at my jokes, so did the Titanic, No Really the Titanic Cracked In Half