one time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room

Why was the ant 🐜 so confused?

All of its uncles were ants.

So there’s this uncle of female and male twins, and his sister, the mother of the twins, is stuck trying to think of a name for the children. The uncle says “I’ve got an idea!”, and the mother gets excited, thinking this could be it. She says "What should their names be?" The uncle replies “Well for your daughter, Denise” “That’s a nice name” comments the mother, “but what about my son?” The uncle simply replies “Denephew”.

Ever heard of the show naked and afraid? thats what i call hide and seek with my uncle.

When you send nudes to your roblox gf and your uncle’s phone sounds with a text tone…

i hooked up with the groom at my uncle’s wedding

I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me

let go of my nose

one day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. she picks it up "Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby." Sally says, “No, shes upstairs with Uncle john” “Uncle john? i don’t know an Uncle John.” “no, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy” “no i’m sure there’s no one named Uncle John in our family.” “Okay, but why did you call?” Says Sally. “Ummm no reason, just tell mommy that daddy’s pulling into the driveway right now.” “Okay daddy!”

long pause

"Okay daddy! I did it!’ “Great job Sally! What did she says?”

“Mommy said OH FU… and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. shes now resting it looks like… then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter…”

then dad replies “Swimming pool? we dont have a…is this 468-1843?”

Is it just me or when you wipe your ass to deep it reminds you of your uncle. Just me??

The last time I had flying lessons I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn…

mom said dad had the best pullout game… now im an uncle

watching 50 shades of grey was more painful then my uncle fisting me as a kid.

my girlfriend asked me if we could have anal sex and I said what’s that, she said I fuck her ass, I said oh my uncle calls that shhhhh

Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse. Will you help Jack off a horse.

my departed uncle was a circus clown before he died

so all his friends came in one car

Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas. -herpes

I will always remember my uncle’s last words, “What’s The Shovel For?”

My uncle died on nine eleven… he was the best piolot in iraq

I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”

What’s the similarity between your uncle and your hands? They can both do dirty things

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