Russian

Anonymous

5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe.

Atom

Henry

Did you know when scientists discovered atoms could split it blew them all away?

Fat

Anonymous

your mamas so fat, scientists found a new planet called Heranus

Depression

Anonymous

Scientists say I’m made up of 75% of water

But after jumping in the ocean its 100%just like my depression.

Win

DIYA 😀

why did the scientist take out his doorbell ? Because he wanted to win no-bell prize

Cow

MooMoo Jokes

What did scientists prove when they saw a skeleton on the moon? The cow didn’t make it

Win

DODO

WHY DID THE SCIENTIST WANTED TO TAKE OFF HIS DOORBELL

BECAUSE HE WANTED TO WIN THE NO BELL PRIZE

Best

Dovakin3004

Stephen Hawkins was one of the best scientists ever, Now he’s walking up the steps of he… No, he’s not walking up the steps of heaven

Puns

Anonymous

Two scientists walk into a bar. One says ¨I want h20” the other said ¨ I want h20 too¨ The second scientist died.

Puns

Anonymous

What do you do with a dead scientist

You barium

Die

Anonymous

2 scientists walk into a bar, the first one says “can I have a drink of H2O?” then the second says"can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies

Scientist

hes ded now

what do you call a gay scientist? stephen hawqueen.

Fast

Anonymous

As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast, it has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.

Poor

irony house

why are cheetahs the best animals? The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour. A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds. Cheetahs are extremely fast however they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue. Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms. One way to always recognise a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances. Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs. While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day. A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away. Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision. With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight. Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.

Wife

My name is nik

A NASA scientist is sitting in a bar when a Martian walks in and orders a martini. The NASA scientist quickly realizes he is dreaming and wakes up. He turns to his wife and tries to explain the dream, but she rolls over and ignores him because she is tired of listening to him. The NASA scientist begins to sob because his marriage is in shambles. lmao

Means

Daily Dose of Morbidity

(A scientist time travels into the year 2024)

Scientist: So, what happened with the storming of Area 51?

Pedestrian: Oh, you mean The 51 Massacre?

Week

anti furry assosiation

three scientists are doing an experiment, they are trying to find out what happens when you stick a cork in an elephants ass. in the lab they each look at each other and decide that they should hire a monkey to do it. the monkey sticks the cork up the elephant’s ass and the scientists wait three weeks.

the monkey pulls out the cork and all three scientists go back and discus what they saw. the first one, standing one mile away, says all he could see was a wave of brown then it all went black, the second, standing two miles away, said the same, the third, who was standing three miles away, said all he could see was the other two get consumed by a massive cloud of brown.

Jesus

Anonymous

today i explain what things are fake. serial killers, clowns, billy, fairies, your life,God,Jesus,your mom, and all your crappy fan-fictions about being saved from your even crappier life.

I’m also gonna explain real stuff, youtube,your dad,scientists,teachers,God,Jesus, and Billy.

stuff on both is real and fake depending on who you are. Your life IS fake.Alot of idiots will read this.

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