Scientist Jokes

Anonymous

5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe.

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Henry

Did you know when scientists discovered atoms could split it blew them all away?

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Anonymous
in Yo mama

your mamas so fat, scientists found a new planet called Heranus

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DODO
in Bell

WHY DID THE SCIENTIST WANTED TO TAKE OFF HIS DOORBELL

BECAUSE HE WANTED TO WIN THE NO BELL PRIZE

Anonymous
in Depression

Scientists say I’m made up of 75% of water

But after jumping in the ocean its 100%just like my depression.

Anonymous
in Puns

Two scientists walk into a bar. One says ¨I want h20” the other said ¨ I want h20 too¨ The second scientist died.

Anonymous
in Similarity

As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast, it has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.

Your name

yo mamma so fat scientists say shes the closest planet to earth

MooMoo Jokes
in Cow

What did scientists prove when they saw a skeleton on the moon? The cow didn’t make it

Dovakin3004

Stephen Hawkins was one of the best scientists ever, Now he’s walking up the steps of he… No, he’s not walking up the steps of heaven

Anonymous
in Puns

What do you do with a dead scientist

You barium

hes ded now

what do you call a gay scientist? stephen hawqueen.

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Anonymous

2 scientists walk into a bar, the first one says “can I have a drink of H2O?” then the second says"can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies

Alex
in Blonde

There were 3 blonde scientists…wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.” The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!” The third blonde says “so we go at night.”

Anonymous
in Orphan

An orphan walks into a science lab. The lead scientist greets him and takes him to a DNA testing station. After some procedures the results come back

UNKNOWN

Yeetus

There was once these two twins. One twin, no matter what happened, was always pissed off while the other one was always happy. This baffled scientists, so they ran an experiment on the twins to figure out what was happening. They took the angry one and left him in a room with all of the latest technology and the most expensive toys and left him overnight. When they came back, he was still grumpy. When they asked him why, he said, “None of these are actually mine and you left me in here all night so I’m angry!” His explanation was reasonable, so they ran another experiment on the other kid. This time, they left him overnight in a room that was litterally just filled with horse shit. When they came back to check on him the next morning, he was still smiling. When they asked him why, he said, “With all of this horse crap their has to be a pony in here somewhere!”

Anonymous
in Forehead

When you die, scientists will preserve your skull.

12345
in NASA

Nasa stands for nobody ask scientists anymore

in Water

According to scientists, there have been a discovery of water on mars. Mars-1 Africa-0

irony house
in Cheetah

why are cheetahs the best animals? The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour. A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds. Cheetahs are extremely fast however they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue. Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms. One way to always recognise a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances. Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs. While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day. A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away. Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision. With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight. Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.

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