Health jokes
He is helping world hunger by feeding cancer.
Anong tawag sa cake na may ubo?
Edi cough cake! NYHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAKAJAHA LT TLGA BOSIT
I bet you go grocery shopping at the Twinkie Factory.
Never eat more than you can lift.
Sometimes I just want to toss a flash bang into a room full of epileptic kids.
Why did the monkey take his banana to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling good.
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can't defeat cancer!
What do people with cancer always want to watch?
"Finding Chemo."
I have a friend who recently stopped smoking, and the withdrawal was causing hallucination. He went to my house and thought there was a shark in the pond in my backyard. So, I would like to dedicate these lyrics to my friend: "I see a dreamer over there by the water!"
Yo mama so fat she can't walk for five seconds without sweating, causing a tsunami!
Walked into a bar the other day and a group of sailors were being loud and shouting about all the women they have in port that had given them gonorrhea...
Bloody seamen.
What part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.
My friend died by a truck, why can't I get run over?
What was the incontinent farmer's greatest problem? He managed his carrot patch but couldn't control his peas!
Stephen Hawking tried to charge his phone and unplugged his life support.
When Stephen Hawking died, did they take him to the hospital or PC World?
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
So uh, I did this thing where I put soap on my brother's toothbrush, and then I put more on and colored it to make it look like toothpaste, and uh, he is constipated now. I AM EVIL :3