Health jokes
My friend died by a truck, why can't I get run over?
Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don't peel.
What kind of jokes doesn’t work out?
Fat people jokes.
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.
Memes
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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
So uh, I did this thing where I put soap on my brother's toothbrush, and then I put more on and colored it to make it look like toothpaste, and uh, he is constipated now. I AM EVIL :3
A man once went to a doctor because his leg was turning blue.
The doctor said that his leg had to be amputated as it was getting poisonous.
The man then got plastic prosthetics.
Next day even the prosthetics started turning blue.
After much examination, the doctor found that the patient's pants were shedding color.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A.
A who?
A-bless you!
What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?
A vowel movement.
I've been going to the dentist for a while now, I know the drill.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?
Dry Vegetable.
Every zodiac sign has a hairstyle, except Cancer.
What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?
They both hang by something.
I work on medicine; my job is to smell it to see if it's bad :)
What do fish smoke? A puffer.
You have a problem with jokes about dementia? That's funny, I don't remember asking.
Why do orphans not know if they're lactose intolerant?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
What's black and eats Kitty?
Serval cancer.
What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?
Monkeypox.