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So I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion. (SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING

Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.

A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”

The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, “You can have anything you want.””

The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”

A boy walks up to a girl and says " i would tell you a joke about my dick but it’s too long" then the girl say’s " yeah, i would tell you a joke about my p.... but you’ll never get it."

Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you’re super annoying and won’t shut up.

A teaher gives her kindergarden students four flavors of live savers and they have to guess the flavors the students guess cherry lime and orange. They dont know th last flavor. So the teacher gives them and hint and say its what your parents call each other. [honey] But a little girl shouts and says “ OMG there assholes.

A little boy and a little girl are taking a bath together. The little girl looks down at the boy and says, “Can I touch it?”. The little boy looks back at her and says, “Hell no, you already broke yours off!”.

my new girl friend is a p... star she would probably kill me if she found out

What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?

Optimistic

I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus and all I could think to myself was, “Don’t get an erection, don’t get an erection”… But she did.

My town’s population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.

What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? – A waist of time.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, “When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah.”

The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to Hell?”

The little girl replied, “Then you ask him.”

Girls are like blackjack you shoot for 21 but I keep hitting 14

Today I was asked to go out, by 20 girls. – I was in the women’s bathroom.

What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? – American teenage girls get stoned before they have sex.

What’s the best part of dating a homeless girl?

You can drop her off anywhere.

3 blonde girls are on an isalnd and they are much to far away from land to swim, they find a genie on the island who offers them each 1 wish the first girl says “I wish I was smart enough to get off this island” so the genie makes her a redheaded girl, she cuts down a tree, makes it into a boat, and proceeds to row off the island. The next girl says “I wish I was even smarter then her so I don’t have to do so much manual labor” so she turns into a brunet and makes a sail boat and lets the wind take her off the island. The finale girl says “I wish I was smarter then both of them!” So she turns into a man and takes the bridge.

I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I’ve made wet this year to -1.