If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.

A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”

The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, “You can have anything you want.””

The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, “When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah.”

The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to Hell?”

The little girl replied, “Then you ask him.”

Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you’re super annoying and won’t shut up.

What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?

Optimistic

I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus and all I could think to myself was, “Don’t get an erection, don’t get an erection”… But she did.

My town’s population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.

A boy walks up to a girl and says " i would tell you a joke about my dick but it’s too long" then the girl say’s " yeah, i would tell you a joke about my p.... but you’ll never get it."

A teaher gives her kindergarden students four flavors of live savers and they have to guess the flavors the students guess cherry lime and orange. They dont know th last flavor. So the teacher gives them and hint and say its what your parents call each other. [honey] But a little girl shouts and says “ OMG there assholes.

Girls are like blackjack you shoot for 21 but I keep hitting 14

Today I was asked to go out, by 20 girls. – I was in the women’s bathroom.

What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? – A waist of time.

What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? – American teenage girls get stoned before they have sex.

What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers? The redneck virgin.

what do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming…a blood bath…bud um pst

This Chinese girl didn’t know what a sausage roll was so i replied, its like a spring roll with sausage in it but not any dog or cat how you have it.

These two guys were at a bar flirting with these girls the guy says " Are you a parking ticket, cause you got fine written all over you" The girl turn and say “How about you pay for them and then I can pay you back with me getting all over you”

3 blonde girls are on an isalnd and they are much to far away from land to swim, they find a genie on the island who offers them each 1 wish the first girl says “I wish I was smart enough to get off this island” so the genie makes her a redheaded girl, she cuts down a tree, makes it into a boat, and proceeds to row off the island. The next girl says “I wish I was even smarter then her so I don’t have to do so much manual labor” so she turns into a brunet and makes a sail boat and lets the wind take her off the island. The finale girl says “I wish I was smarter then both of them!” So she turns into a man and takes the bridge.

You’d think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no… oh no he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.

what is red, green, lies in a ditch and is covered in cookie crumbs?

…a girl scout that got hit by a car

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