A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, “When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah.”

The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to Hell?”

The little girl replied, “Then you ask him.”

My town’s population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.

A little boy and a little girl are taking a bath together. The little girl looks down at the boy and says, “Can I touch it?”. The little boy looks back at her and says, “Hell no, you already broke yours off!”.

Girls are like blackjack you shoot for 21 but I keep hitting 14

Today I was asked to go out, by 20 girls. – I was in the women’s bathroom.

So I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion. (SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING

What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? – A waist of time.

Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?

Museum girl: Committing suicide.

Allan: What about Friday night?

I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I’ve made wet this year to -1.

A boy walks up to a girl and says " i would tell you a joke about my dick but it’s too long" then the girl say’s " yeah, i would tell you a joke about my pussy but you’ll never get it."

I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus and all I could think to myself was, “Don’t get an erection, don’t get an erection”… But she did.

Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.

Whats the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?

The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.

Girl: come over orphan: I can’t
Girl: my parents aren’t home ;) orphan: oh cool something we have in common

A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”

The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, “You can have anything you want.””

The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”

Girls are like math if there under ten then you use your fingers

One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said “The Mail Man died”.

The teacher asks her class “What is sex?” and Little Jonny stands up and says “sex is the temptation caused by the sensation when a boy sticks his location into a girl’s destination. Did you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?” and the teacher fainted.

In Saudi Arabia, our pick up lines are, Girl are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb

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