If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, “When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah.”

The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to Hell?”

The little girl replied, “Then you ask him.”

My town’s population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.

A little boy and a little girl are taking a bath together. The little girl looks down at the boy and says, “Can I touch it?”. The little boy looks back at her and says, “Hell no, you already broke yours off!”.

Today I was asked to go out, by 20 girls. – I was in the women’s bathroom.

Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?

Museum girl: Committing suicide.

Allan: What about Friday night?

Whats the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?

The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.

Girls are like blackjack you shoot for 21 but I keep hitting 14

I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I’ve made wet this year to -1.

I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus and all I could think to myself was, “Don’t get an erection, don’t get an erection”… But she did.

So I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion. (SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING

A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”

The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, “You can have anything you want.””

The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”

Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.

A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas

What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? – A waist of time.

Girls are like math if there under ten then you use your fingers

The teacher asks her class “What is sex?” and Little Jonny stands up and says “sex is the temptation caused by the sensation when a boy sticks his location into a girl’s destination. Did you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?” and the teacher fainted.

A boy walks up to a girl and says " i would tell you a joke about my dick but it’s too long" then the girl say’s " yeah, i would tell you a joke about my pussy but you’ll never get it."

In Saudi Arabia, our pick up lines are, Girl are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb

Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl? I’d really like to meter

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