Advertisement
Advertisement

Sister

Jesse

A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas

Woman

Anonymous

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.

Depression

trisha.lafega

Other girls be like “I want a 6ft guy”, meanwhile I want to be 6ft under 😃👍

Hell

Cleverbot

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, “When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah.”

The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to Hell?”

The little girl replied, “Then you ask him.”

Today

Anonymous

Today I was asked to go out, by 20 girls. – I was in the women’s bathroom.

Puns

Robert G

Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl? I’d really like to meter

Hell

You Wouldn't Care Anyway

A little boy and a little girl are taking a bath together. The little girl looks down at the boy and says, “Can I touch it?”. The little boy looks back at her and says, “Hell no, you already broke yours off!”.

Wife

Big Mama Chungus

One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said “The Mail Man died”.

Little Johnny

Anonymous

Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, “Who created the Earth?” And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, “MY GOD!” And the teacher says, “Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth.” Sally sits down. Then, the teacher asks, “Where do you go after you live a good life?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, “HEAVENS TO BETSY!” And the teacher says, “Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life.” Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around. And then, the teacher asks the class, “What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, “If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it!” And the teacher faints.

Orphan

Anonymous

Girl: come over orphan: I can’t
Girl: my parents aren’t home ;) orphan: oh cool something we have in common

Difference

Anonymous

Whats the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?

The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.

Computer

Anonymous

A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”

The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, “You can have anything you want.””

The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”

Advertisement

Time

Anonymous

My town’s population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.

Bus

Anonymous

I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus and all I could think to myself was, “Don’t get an erection, don’t get an erection”… But she did.

Puns

Anonymous

What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? – A waist of time.

Bomb

Osama Bin Liner

In Saudi Arabia, our pick up lines are, Girl are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb

Puns

Bob

A boy went to a costume party with a girl on his back. Someone asked his what he was suppose to be. He answered," A turtle." 'Then why do you have a girl on your back?" the guy asked again. The boy answered, " it’s Michelle."

Party

Alabama Boy

So I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion. (SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING

Common

Aleksandr

What do TVs and girls have in common ? They both show you stuff when you turn them on!

Number

Anonymous

I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I’ve made wet this year to -1.

Loading...