A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, “When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah.”

The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to Hell?”

The little girl replied, “Then you ask him.”

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.

A little boy and a little girl are taking a bath together. The little girl looks down at the boy and says, “Can I touch it?”. The little boy looks back at her and says, “Hell no, you already broke yours off!”.

A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas

One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said “The Mail Man died”.

I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus and all I could think to myself was, “Don’t get an erection, don’t get an erection”… But she did.

Today I was asked to go out, by 20 girls. – I was in the women’s bathroom.

So I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion. (SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING

My town’s population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.

A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”

The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, “You can have anything you want.””

The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”

Whats the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?

The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.

What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? – A waist of time.

Girls are like blackjack you shoot for 21 but I keep hitting 14

A boy walks up to a girl and says " i would tell you a joke about my dick but it’s too long" then the girl say’s " yeah, i would tell you a joke about my pussy but you’ll never get it."

Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl? I’d really like to meter

Is Google a girl or a boy?

Obviously a Girl, because it won’t let you finish a sentence without making a suggestion.

I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I’ve made wet this year to -1.

Girl: come over orphan: I can’t
Girl: my parents aren’t home ;) orphan: oh cool something we have in common

Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.

The teacher asks her class “What is sex?” and Little Jonny stands up and says “sex is the temptation caused by the sensation when a boy sticks his location into a girl’s destination. Did you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?” and the teacher fainted.

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