A guy is at home and he’s about to go get a physical at the Doctor’s office. When he gets there, the Doctor says, “Brian, you’re going to have to stop masturbating.” He asked the Doc why? The Doc said, “So I can examine you!”

If I was addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?

I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said “Come on I was gonna eat that later! Now it’s just gonna taste like carrots!”

Boy goes to Confession Boy " What are you doing father" Priest “Its called masturbation and soon you will be doing it" Boy " Why do you say that father" Priest " Cause my hand is getting tired”

How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?

I don’t know, I can’t count while I masturbate…

I walked into a room full of men masturbating. – They all looked shocked when I didn’t stop.

What do you call a masturbating cow?

Beef stroganoff.

If you start at a bait shop you’re an amateur baiter but once you achieve the highest level you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on shrimp boat

Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand? A: So she can moan with the other.

my sex life

A Drunk Guy Asked His Penis : 《Tell Me, How Can You Get Shorter And Longer And I Can’t ? 》

《Why Don’t You Speak To Me ?》

《Stop Getting Shorter And Longer Or I Will Choke You》

《Oh Yeah I Like It ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 》

Hhhhhhhhh ♪(┌・。・)┌

What does a baby in a blender look like?

I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.

What is the most sensitive part of a mans anatomy while he’s masturbating? – His ears.

The first priest asks the second, “How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?”, the priest replies, “No clue… I close my eyes when I masturbate”

When i masterbate things cum when a old man dose no one cums

What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower? You got off clean

What do you call a masturbating cow

Beef stroking off

what did the mans dick say to the man

i just cant "hand"le it

How long does it take a baby to cook in the microwave? I don’t know I close my eyes when I masturbate.

Ex girlfriend “i can smell fish” Ex boyfriend “i can smell shit” Ex boyfriend “ well how many boys swam down there” Ex girlfriend “20!” Fish “ wasn’t me I don’t swim around mistakes”

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