A guy is at home and he’s about to go get a physical at the Doctor’s office. When he gets there, the Doctor says, “Brian, you’re going to have to stop masturbating.” He asked the Doc why? The Doc said, “So I can examine you!”

If I was addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?

Boy goes to Confession Boy " What are you doing father" Priest “Its called masturbation and soon you will be doing it" Boy " Why do you say that father" Priest " Cause my hand is getting tired”

So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was “Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!”

I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said “Come on I was gonna eat that later! Now it’s just gonna taste like carrots!”

How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?

I don’t know, I can’t count while I masturbate…

I walked into a room full of men masturbating. – They all looked shocked when I didn’t stop.

If you start at a bait shop you’re an amateur baiter but once you achieve the highest level you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on shrimp boat

What do you call a masturbating cow?

Beef stroganoff.

my sex life

A Drunk Guy Asked His Penis : 《Tell Me, How Can You Get Shorter And Longer And I Can’t ? 》

《Why Don’t You Speak To Me ?》

《Stop Getting Shorter And Longer Or I Will Choke You》

《Oh Yeah I Like It ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 》

Hhhhhhhhh ♪(┌・。・)┌

What does a baby in a blender look like?

I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.

Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand? A: So she can moan with the other.

What is the most sensitive part of a mans anatomy while he’s masturbating? – His ears.

When i masterbate things cum when a old man dose no one cums

What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower? You got off clean

The first priest asks the second, “How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?”, the priest replies, “No clue… I close my eyes when I masturbate”

what did the mans dick say to the man

i just cant "hand"le it

What do you call a masturbating cow

Beef stroking off

How long does it take a baby to cook in the microwave? I don’t know I close my eyes when I masturbate.