Masturbation

Masturbation Jokes

If I was addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?

A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the Doctor's office. When he gets there, the Doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the Doc why? The Doc said, "So I can examine you!"

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So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was “Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!”

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I walked into a room full of men masturbating. -- They all looked shocked when I didn't stop.

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I was raised a Catholic and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate".

I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"

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What is anonymous 🤔 oral masturbation? the politically correct word for anonymous gay fellatio from a 🕳 glory hole inside a 📖 adult book store

Boy goes to Confession Boy " What are you doing father" Priest "Its called masturbation and soon you will be doing it" Boy " Why do you say that father" Priest " Cause my hand is getting tired"

I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said "Come on I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"

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A dad tells his son “Stop masturbating! if you do it too long you will go blind.” The son replied “Dad, I’m over here.