Dad

Dad jokes

Hairline

    • I swear, if I compared the size of your mother and multiplied it by the time your dad was gone, it wouldn't even be close to your hairline.

  • 2

    • Girl

    • The little girl's dad was Jewish and her mom was Catholic. Mom had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday.

    One Sunday, during High Mass, the little girl whispers to her mom, “Mom, can we go home now?”

    “No honey, not yet,” replied the mother, “the Mass is only half over.”

    “Then we can go now, Mom. I'm half Jewish.”

  • 1
    • Dad memes

    Money

    • Lol, I keep stealing my dad's medication money, and the best part is he never remembers.

  • 0

    • Day

    • One day, Little Johnny needs to use the bathroom. His mom is in there, so he went in to use it and asked his mom, "What is that between your legs?"

    His mom told him that is her bush. Then the next day the same thing happened, but with his dad. He asked his dad, "What is that between his legs?" He said, "My snake."

    The same thing happened one more time, except with his grandmother. Little Johnny asked grandma what is on her chest. She said, "My headlights."

    One night, Little Johnny caught his parents doing something naughty. Then he said, "Grandma, grandma, turn on your headlights! Daddy's snake is trying to get into mommy's bush!"

  • 0

    • Rapper

    • What do you call a person who keeps making jokes about rappers?

    An annoying prick whose black dad left him as a kid.

  • 1

    • Mom

    • What did the mom tell her son when he asked for a bowl of cereal? "Sorry your dad wasn't came back with the milk yet."

    Kidnapping

    • I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.

  • 6