Roast Jokes

Crush: "How much do you love me?"

Me: "Well, look at the stars outside."

Crush: "But it's morning."

Me: "Exactly."

1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.

2. Oh you’re talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back.

3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.


Bully: "I would roast you but my mom told me not to burn trash." Me: "So that's why you haven't burnt yourself yet." 🤔

Friend: "You are so ugly." Me: "You can't be talking, you give Freddy Krueger nightmares."


Me and my friend were roasting each other. She said, "You look like a Reese's cup." I replied, "You're so old, your pubic hairs are 50 shades of gray."