my mum told me to take out the trash but i couldn’t find you

crush: how much do you love me??

me: well look at the stars outside

crush: but its morning me: exactly

If being ugly was a crime u would get a life sentence

Your like a cloud. When you go away, its a beautiful day.

I’d Hit You But I Don’t Wanna Go To Jail For Animal Abuse.

What animal gets easily offended? The chicken; they always get roasted.

1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.

2. Oh you’re talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back.

3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.

Friend… You so ugly. Me… You can’t be talking you give Freddy Krueger nightmares

my friend; yo stupid me; is that right and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you einstien My friend; rolls eyes and says whatever me; keep on rolling them you might find your brain in there

Bully: nobody loves you Me: aww it must have hurt when your mom told you that.

Your so dam fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.

me and my friend were roasting each other she : you look like a reese’s cup me:your so old your pubic hairs are 50 shades of gray

If I wanted to kill myself i would just climb up your ego and jump down to your IQ.

yo mamma so stupid she starved to death in a groacy store

Yo mama’s so fat, when she fell I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

if I had a face like yours I would sue my parents

you are so ugly hellokitty had to say bye bye

Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish and the other is a walrus. Your welcome

my phone battery last longer then your relasionships

Your moms so fat, when she sat on walmart, she lowered the prices!