Roast jokes

If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence.

I'd hit you, but I don't want to go to jail for animal abuse.

If I wanted to kill myself, I would just climb up your ego and jump down to your IQ.

Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.

I would roast you, but your mirror does it every time you look into it.

You're so damn fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.

Your mama so fat the flash died halfway running around her.

You're so ugly, when a pig saw you, it thought that you were their family member.

You're like a cloud. When you go away, it's a beautiful day.

Most people are scared of clowns. That's why everyone runs away from you.

If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents.

Bully: "Nobody loves you."

Me: "Aww, it must have hurt when your mom told you that."

Your mom is so ugly that when she went to rob a bank, they had to turn the cameras off.

Yo mama so fat, when she joined NASA, they put her in orbit and the next day there was a lunar eclipse.

My mom told me to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she went trick or treating on Halloween 2016, the clowns thought she was their supreme leader.

Your mom's so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices!

If you're going to be a smart ass, you have to be smart, or you're just an ass.

When you step on the scales, it says "to be confined."

Yo mamma so stupid, she starved to death in a grocery store.