Roast jokes

Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.

If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence.

I'd hit you, but I don't want to go to jail for animal abuse.

You're so damn fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.

I would roast you, but your mirror does it every time you look into it.

If I wanted to kill myself, I would just climb up your ego and jump down to your IQ.

Your mama so fat the flash died halfway running around her.

Most people are scared of clowns. That's why everyone runs away from you.

Bully: "Nobody loves you."

Me: "Aww, it must have hurt when your mom told you that."

You're so ugly, when a pig saw you, it thought that you were their family member.

Your mom is so ugly that when she went to rob a bank, they had to turn the cameras off.

You're like a cloud. When you go away, it's a beautiful day.

Yo mama so fat, when she joined NASA, they put her in orbit and the next day there was a lunar eclipse.

If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents.

My mom told me to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.

Comebacks when someone say: Bully: "Your teeth is so yellow that when you start smiling you slow down the traffic." Say: "At least its brighter than your future."

When you step on the scales, it says "to be confined."

My friend: "Yo, stupid."

Me: "Is that right? And what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?"

My friend: *rolls eyes* and says, "Whatever."

Me: "Keep on rolling them; you might find your brain in there."

Ninety percent of your beauty can be removed with a Kleenex.

Oh, were you talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.

Hold still, I am trying to imagine you with a personality.

Yo mamma so stupid, she starved to death in a grocery store.