Roast

Roast Jokes

Ego

If I wanted to kill myself, I would just climb up your ego and jump down to your IQ.

Trash

Roses are red. Violets are blue. When I'm taking out the trash, I remember you.

Love

Crush: "How much do you love me?"

Me: "Well, look at the stars outside."

Crush: "But it's morning."

Me: "Exactly."

Comeback

Bully: "Nobody loves you."

Me: "Aww, it must have hurt when your mom told you that."

Mom

Your mom's so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices!

  • 8
  • Fat

    You're so damn fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.

  • 7
  • Phone

    1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.

    2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.

    3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.

  • 8
  • Mirror

    I would roast you, but your mirror does it every time you look into it.

    Friend

    Friend: "You are so ugly." Me: "You can't be talking, you give Freddy Krueger nightmares."

  • 6
  • Friend

    Me and my friend were roasting each other. She said, "You look like a Reese's cup." I replied, "You're so old, your pubic hairs are 50 shades of gray."

  • 4
  • Mom

    Bully: "I would roast you but my mom told me not to burn trash."

    Me: "So that's why you haven't burnt yourself yet." 🤔

    Pig

    You're so ugly, when a pig saw you, it thought that you were their family member.