Father Figure jokes

Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They wanted someone to call "daddy."

My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.

Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.

You have a father figure.

On my 21st Birthday, my mom told me, "I got a nice birthday present for you. As the son and only child, you're going to get something good, something you've been looking forward to," is what my mom said.

Me, my mom, and my only friend celebrated my Birthday, then we all went to sleep. I woke up the next day. I asked, "Hey, where's my gift you said you got me?" My mom said, "Since your father left us, you have no father figure in your life, so this is your new stepfather." The only thing is, it was my only friend.

Why did the kid named Jeff become gay? Because he grew up without a father figure. Hahaha, I love dark humor!

My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."

Father: "I don't trust you. You poured your seed in my daughter's belly."

Son: "But Paah, you can't fire me."

Father: "You're lucky you're my brother too, or I'd kill you."

My dad is like my depression, you need a suicide letter to find him.

"I'm not sure why my girlfriend's father doesn't like me."

"What was your first impression on him?"

"I told him, she calls me daddy too."

I wish my dad was home. I haven’t seen him since the shot of 2008.