Milk Jokes

Wife

YupIAteYourCakeAllToMe
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A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. The daughter says "God bless Mummy and God Bless Daddy and God bless Grandma and good bye Grandad." The father says, "Good bye Grandad? Why is that?" The daughter says, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, Grandad drops dead. The father can't believe the coincidence, but decided not to question it. That night, he listens to the daughter's prayers again. She says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma." The father is shocked again and asks his daughter why, but she says again, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, the Grandma drops dead and now the Father is getting worried but doesn't know what to do, so he tries to forget about it. That night, he listens to his daughter again and she says, "God bless Mummy and goodbye Daddy." The father is now terrified and goes to work the next day sweating, cancels all of his meetings, and hides in his office for the whole day. He doesn't go home and stays there until midnight. He's very surprised. 'I've cheated death!' he thinks to himself, then rushes home. His wife asks, "Where have you been?!" and the husband says, "Oh don't ask me any questions, today's been miserable." The wife replies, "Your days been miserable? Well, listen to my day! Firstly, the milk man drops dead on the porch..."

Orphan

Ur MoM;)
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Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted.

Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.

I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.

Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.

What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.

Next: Inappropriate Jokes

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms

What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin

Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.

Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

Cow

Anonymous
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What do you get from a dwarf cow?

Condensed milk

9

Christmas

Pickle Rick
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You wanna know what i want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.

2

Little Johnny

Xzavier
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Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says “hey dad! Whatcha doin?” His father says “I’m filling your moms tank” Johnny says, “oh yeah well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because th milk man filled her up this morning.”

Bull

Anonymous
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Child: *drinking milk*

Farmer: hey, what are you doing?

Child: oh I just milked one of your cows

Farmer: We don't have any cows, we only have bulls

Child: *realizes*

Spoil

Anonymous
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what do you call milk that gets everything she wants?

spoiled milk

Orphan

Anonymous
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y do orphans eat cereal with water

there dad did not come back with the milk

Kid

Anonymous
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Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk

2

Offensive

Kiddyfiddler
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What do milk and make a wish kids have in common , they both have expire dates.

Animal

Anonymous
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Where animal does Russian milk come from?

moscows

Orphan

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Like this if you laughed.

These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.

I made a website for orphans .Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.

Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father

Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back. (Clearly someone didn't come back with the milk)

Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.

What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.

Hope you had fun reading this! My friend and I laughed reading all of em!

Cow

Anonymous
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What do you get when a cow doesn't give anymore milk?

A milk dud 😂

Animal

Anonymous
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Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.

0

Cow

CDR
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Here's a better version of a previous joke:

I would tell you a milk joke, but its whey too cheesy!

Cow

Georgia
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whats the hardest part when making skimmed milk? throwing the cow across the lake

Animal

Anonymous
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What kind of Bees make milk?

BooBees

Cow

Anonymous
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want to hear a joke a bout milk.............. no it's to cheesey.

1

Cow

Anonymous
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I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.

4

Orphan

DJTDM
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Why do orphans hate milk? Cause their family is still shopping for it!