Dad

Pickle Rick

You wanna know what i want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.

Cow

Anonymous

Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? – Because the cow has the udder.

Cow

CDR

Here’s a better version of a previous joke:

I would tell you a milk joke, but its whey too cheesy!

Cow

Anonymous

What do you get from a dwarf cow?

Condensed milk

Spoil

Anonymous

what do you call milk that gets everything she wants?

spoiled milk

Cow

Anonymous

want to hear a joke a bout milk… no it’s to cheesey.

Kid

Anonymous

Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn’t real Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk

Animal

Anonymous

Where animal does Russian milk come from?

moscows

Cow

Anonymous

I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.

Wife

YupIAteYourCakeAllToMe

A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. The daughter says “God bless Mummy and God Bless Daddy and God bless Grandma and good bye Grandad.” The father says, “Good bye Grandad? Why is that?” The daughter says, “Just because I felt like it.” The next day, Grandad drops dead. The father can’t believe the coincidence, but decided not to question it. That night, he listens to the daughter’s prayers again. She says, “God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma.” The father is shocked again and asks his daughter why, but she says again, “Just because I felt like it.” The next day, the Grandma drops dead and now the Father is getting worried but doesn’t know what to do, so he tries to forget about it. That night, he listens to his daughter again and she says, “God bless Mummy and goodbye Daddy.” The father is now terrified and goes to work the next day sweating, cancels all of his meetings, and hides in his office for the whole day. He doesn’t go home and stays there until midnight. He’s very surprised. ‘I’ve cheated death!’ he thinks to himself, then rushes home. His wife asks, “Where have you been?!” and the husband says, “Oh don’t ask me any questions, today’s been miserable.” The wife replies, “Your days been miserable? Well, listen to my day! Firstly, the milk man drops dead on the porch…”

Animal

Anonymous

What kind of Bees make milk?

BooBees

Cow

Cow Like You

A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. the farmer says “I milked your cow”. the neighbor replies “i have a bull not a cow”

Cow

Georgia

whats the hardest part when making skimmed milk? throwing the cow across the lake

Cow

Daniel King

Why don’t cows 🐄 have any money?

Because farmers milk them dry.

Udder

Anonymous

What do you call terrible milk?

Udder Bullshit

Guy

ya boi

guy spills milk on a me i say " it’s OK we all make mistakes sometimes but apparently your mom made a big one

Difference

Anonymous

What’s the difference between America and a bottle of milk? – In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.

Cow

Corey

A kid milks a cow and goes to school and tells his friends I milk a cow and it took awhile for it to warm up and his brother came over and said we don’t have cows we have Bulls

Cow

Norm

What is the worst part of milking a cow?

The smell of the dairy air.

Cow

Mcat

Where do astronaut cows go to get milk? The milky way! 😂😅

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