You wanna know what i want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.

What do you get from a dwarf cow?

Condensed milk

guy spills milk on a me i say " it’s OK we all make mistakes sometimes but apparently your mom made a big one

Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? – Because the cow has the udder.

Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn’t real Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk

What kind of Bees make milk?


A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. the farmer says “I milked your cow”. the neighbor replies “i have a bull not a cow”

My boyfriend came over today and stole my milk. How dairy.

What’s the difference between America and a bottle of milk? – In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.

Where animal does Russian milk come from?


What do you call terrible milk?

Udder Bullshit

I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.

what do you call milk that gets everything she wants?

spoiled milk

What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common? An expiration date.

She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin’ at her jugs.

Cashier: Will you want the milk in a bag today sir?

Customer: I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind.

Wich bees produce milk?


whats the hardest part when making skimmed milk? throwing the cow across the lake

A kid milks a cow and goes to school and tells his friends I milk a cow and it took awhile for it to warm up and his brother came over and said we don’t have cows we have Bulls

Once my dad left to get milk then I realized we own a cow.