Satan's Daughter

A Man: I must confess father Priest: what are you her to confess A Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son Priest: and what happened to your son A Man: He said a man raped him Priest: when and where did this happened A Man: a local church, idk which one Priest...by whom? A Man: A priest he said, he said the priest had black hair and blue eyes. kind of like you Priest: ...shit

Male Patient: So I just pull my pants down and bend over for my prostate exam

Doctor: Yup

Male: Ok I'm ready....hey doc that doesn't feel like a finger

Doctor: He he yeah...im not a doctor

Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME Officer: you ok kid? Me: dont worry! hes my nephew, there was a big spider Officer: oh ok ma'am *walks off* When officer leaves: Me: *gets whip* what did I say about leaving the basement

Woman: I want coffee, black Cop: *takes out gun* WHERE?!

Blossom: why are we dating the rowdy ruffs when were technically siblings? Bubbles:... Buttercup: idk but those people over there r lookin at us weird Alabama: 😈

I keep getting these letters from this little girl every year on fathers day. I told the orphanage to stop letting her send these.

My dad went out for milk. It's been 15 years and I still have to eat my cereal dry.

Man: Cow milk is drinkable Other man: How do you know that? Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth* Other man: John...h-how do you know that!

My wife cheated on me with my brother She didn't have a sister so I improvised and now all I have to do is wait nine months for one to come

A midget had a disease and the cure was on the highest shelf

I was in the mood for some dark meat so I called my black friend.

Virginia is false advertising Couldn't find many virgins there