Father: "Son, you were adopted."
Son: "What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!"
Father: "We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes."
Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.
A brother and a sister always got into fights. One day the brother tells the sister, "You're adopted!" The sister yells back, "At least they wanted me!"
I don't like to use the word "kidnapping". So I just use the term: "surprise adoption."
What's the difference between puppies and orphans?
The puppies actually get adopted.
What flour do you give an orphan?
Self-raising.
How to tell your kid he's adopted:
Son, I'm a virgin.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans. It doesn't have a homepage.
One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.
Son: Dad, am I adopted?
Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center, do you really think I would pick you?
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.
How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."
What's the difference between Tyler and a rooster? A rooster says, "cock-a-doodle-doo," Tyler says, "any cock will do."
My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a "two for one special."
Wanna hear a good joke?
My dad’s love for me.
A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”
An old lady walks into an adoption center, and the lady that runs the business says, "Oh, haven’t seen you in a long time!"
One day I was walking around, then saw this mom mad at her kid and screamed, "You're adopted!" He said, "Yeah, I know. My REAL mommy is still at home with daddy."
When I ask my dad if I got adopted, he said, "Not yet, no one wants you."
