Adoption jokes
Father: "Son, you were adopted."
Son: "What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!"
Father: "We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes."
I don't like to use the word "kidnapping". So I just use the term: "surprise adoption."
Where does an orphan come from?
Daddy getting milk.
One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.
*The talk*
A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”
What's the difference between Tyler and a rooster? A rooster says, "cock-a-doodle-doo," Tyler says, "any cock will do."
How to tell your kid he's adopted:
Son, I'm a virgin.
How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."
A brother and a sister always got into fights. One day the brother tells the sister, "You're adopted!" The sister yells back, "At least they wanted me!"
Sister: You're adopted.
Me: At least they wanted me, they must feel terribly bad cuz they had to keep you :(
I made a website for orphans. It doesn't have a homepage.
Two lesbians adopted a cat. That night, the cat ran away. Why?
Because it heard one say, "I'm gonna eat that pussy."
What's the difference between puppies and orphans?
The puppies actually get adopted.
Kidnapping is just surprise adoption.
One time I was watching TV.
Mom: Omg, your dad is coming!
Me: Omg, really?
Mom: Sike, I lied.
Your adopted.
Son: Dad, am I adopted?
Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center, do you really think I would pick you?
One day I was walking around, then saw this mom mad at her kid and screamed, "You're adopted!" He said, "Yeah, I know. My REAL mommy is still at home with daddy."
What flour do you give an orphan?
Self-raising.