A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”
Trump- Caillou can you please stop whining that squirrel didn’t just eat our pizza he also ditched your dad and he’s your stepdad now
Caillou- Why I’m bald Trumpy
Trump- I don’t know but what I do know is that your a massive shit stain
Roses are red, flowers naturally cannot be black. I heard that your dad's in jail for selling crack!
Son: Dad I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure ur my parents? Dad: oh...., well I never thought it would come to this, or to ur head that you were kidnapped..... Son: am I kidnapped? Dad; well ur adopted, and if you want to see ur biological parents they’ll be waiting for you in heaven
my dad told me a joke one time, when I realized the joke the second tower was hit
one time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer
Kid: What is an orphans favorite breakfast? Teacher: What? Kid: Fruity pebble with water Teacher: Why water? Kid: Cause it's dad never came back with the milk
Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. you don't. You have a father figure
“ the dad was so horny he wanted to have sex with his wife but his wife said no so he fucked his daughter”
“Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?” No sun.
Hey, pass me that crow bar please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home
(credit to Ryan Lombard (I think that’s his name) from YouTube shorts, I loved this dad joke/pun)
The little girl's dad was Jewish and her mom was Catholic. Mom had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday.
One Sunday, during High Mass, the little girl whispers to her mom, “Mom, can we go home now?”
“No honey, not yet,” replied the mother, “the Mass is only half over.”
“Then we can go now, Mom. I'm half Jewish
What’s the difference between video games and my dad?
My dad doesn’t beat me
What's the difference between MH370 and my dad? Both disappeared but one killed 239 people
Your dad is so fat he walks past the TV I miss 3 episodes of South Park
The mom : "Where did Timmy go after exploring that minefield across the road honey?" The dad : "Everywhere"
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
I took my sister and And cousin to a sleepover with lil Diddy who my dad‘s friend has connections with I think the experience went fine, but they were traumatized, We got what we wanted.
me: do you eat your cereal with water? you: no why? me: cuz your dad never came back with the milk
