Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson Jokes

Kid

What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap?

"You have a great singer inside you."

Xbox

What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common? Firstly, they both went from black to white, and secondly, they both get turned on by kids.

White privilege

A lot of people claim that white privilege does not exist. Well, how the hell do you explain Michael Jackson not being charged for raping children, despite ample evidence?

Skin

Wacko Jacko bleached his skin, lit his head on fire, slept in a chamber, abused his pet monkey, built an amusement park in his own backyard, had toys as decor for his home, slept with little boys, raped little boys. Jacko was Florida Man before Florida Man.

Shelter

Did you hear about Johnny Depp's shelter for abused women? It's going as well as Michael Jackson's children's hospital!

Memes

Achievement

Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while he was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.

They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.

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  • Phone Call

    During a phone call:

    "Hey, is Michael Jackson in Miami with his manager?"

    "Actually, he's off to Tampa with the kids."

    Walmart

    Why did Michael Jackson rush to Walmart?

    He heard boys' pants were half off!

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  • Wacko Jacko

    How do you get Wacko Jacko to screw a lightbulb?

    Tell Jacko that the bulb is a 6-year-old boy.

    Difference

    What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn't come on a 5-year-old's face.

    Math

    What do Michael Jackson and math have in common? They are both hard for kids.

    Sausage

    I was gobsmacked when I encountered the Jacko special at a Bunnings sausage sizzle. A 40-year-old sausage on 7-year-old white bread.

    Mess

    Person 1: Goodness, when is Michael Jackson going to stop eating these white chocolate truffles? He is already making a goddamn mess on his bed eating a few of them.

    Person 2: Well, he cannot resist the little white balls.

    Plastic Surgery

    What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?

    He got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change.

    Guitar

    What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do on guitar?

    Fingering A minor.

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  • Kid

    What did MC Hammer say to Michael Jackson?

    "U Can't Touch Kids."

    Wacko Jacko

    He sang a love song to a rat, yet stans are befuddled on why people keep calling their idol "Wacko Jacko".