Dad Jokes

Orphans always dip their Oreos in water? Hoping their dad comes back with the milk.

The mom : "Where did Timmy go after exploring that minefield across the road honey?" The dad : "Everywhere"

My mother really hates my dad for some reason. Maybe it was because he cheated on her, or maybe because it was her mom. Either way it really ruined her birthday.

Kid: " Mom I had a scary dream can I come sleep with you and dad " Mom: " sure sweetie sleep in the middle " Kid: " Dad can you get the remote out of my back " Dad: " That isn't the remote "

*Weird background music*

Son: Hey Dad, what's an alcoholic?

Dad: Well son, do you see those 4 cars? An alcoholic would we 8.

Son: Dad, there are only 2 cars.

Little Johnny's sister Suzy sees her mom in the shower and asks what is that between your legs? Her mom responds, "That is my garage". The next day Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, "What is that between your legs?" Her dad answers, "It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy's garage." The next day Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, "Why is there blood all over your hands Suzy?" Suzy says, " Well... little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage so I ripped its wheels off."

DR Brody: Sir your son has a disease called boofa dad: whats boofa? DR Brody: both of these nuts in your mouth

jack and jill went up the hill to find there dad again

A father and three sons are renovating a house when a wall of that house collapses and breaks the fathers back. Keeping calm he tells the sons, "well, I guess this is what you would call back-breaking labor." He chuckled then passed out from pain.

I went to a sleepover at my best friend's house. He lives with his grandpa and little brother, his mom and dad. His little brother likes to run around the house naked sometimes. I cant help but notice his grandpa always looks up when he does.