Fatherhood jokes
Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They wanted someone to call "daddy."
My dad is like my depression, you need a suicide letter to find him.
What is an orphan's favorite quote in Star Wars?
"I am your father."
What's the difference between calling someone dad or daddy? How you come from his balls.
Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”
Dad: “Call me George.”
W Dad
Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?
They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.
Why do orphans go to church? So that they can call someone Father.
Imagine Michael Jackson having kids? Would they come out Black or white or plastic?
At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth."
Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!"
Why did the orphan go to church?
Because they need a father.
Why do orphans love to go to church? Because they have someone to call father.
What’s worse than finger banging your sister?
Finding your dad’s wedding ring.
Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a hole in one!
A husband came back from a business trip and found out that his wife was pregnant. At first, he got a bit suspicious, but then he just ignored it and hugged his wife with happiness. The second when he met his friend and told him the news, the friend just said, "Wait, what? I thought she was on pills!"
Why does an orphan like church so much? So he can call someone "father."
Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.
What's the difference between Batman and a gay person?
Batman has no one to call "daddy."
TV Darth Vader: "I'm your father!"
Orphans: "Yea."
Why don’t orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
Son: Dad, where are you?
Dad: Getting another one.
Son: Getting what?
Dad: Dad.