What’s the difference between a amateur thief and a professional thief?

The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, “Sign here please.”

What’s the difference between a baby and a baked potato?

About 140 calories.

What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

What’s the difference between Issac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death? Issac Newton dies a virgin.

What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? – The letter F.

What’s the difference between a baby and a salad?

Most people don’t get angry when you toss a salad.

what’s the difference between a feminist and suicide vest

a least one does something when it is triggered

What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.

Q: What’s the difference between me and cancer? A: My dad didn’t beat cancer…

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead bodies

I dont have a Lamborghini in my garage

What’s the difference between a blonde and a masqueto?

A masqueto stops sucking when you slap it

how did riahna know that chris brown was cheating on her…there was a different color of lip stick on his knuckles

A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says “Okay I’d like you to point to wherever it hurts”. So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says “Here. Ow.” She then pokes her arm and says “Here. Ow.” She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop. The doctor say “I know what’s happened to you.” “What’s happened to me??” The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, “You have a broken finger.”

What is the difference between a coconut and your ex? One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at the other one is a coconut.

What is the difference between butter and a blonde? - Butter is difficult to spread.

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he’s hooked up to? – The computer runs.

whats the difference between a maze and a depressed life? one of them you can find a way out of

Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign? A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!

What’s the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? – People in Dubai don’t like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.

What’s the difference between an American 12 yearold and an African 12 year old? About 40 pounds.