My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister’s panties. I don’t know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearimg them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way it made the funeral a bit awkward.

why can’t orphans work at S.C Johnson

Cause it’s a family company

Looks like the gene pool in your family is about three inches deep

My family is like a cactus; A bunch of pricks.

Its sad how families can be torn apart from something as simple as- wild dogs

There is an upside to being an orphan… every bag of chips is family size

Teacher: Kids what are something you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friend to make me happy. Teacher: What about you Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy…

Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?

One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said “The Mail Man died”.

What do you call an orphans family tree A stump

What did the skeleton say before dinner? BONE appetit. His whole family found that HUMERUS.

What do you call a orphans family reunion?

Me time

I’m a family doctor and I wish I could help but… you’re an orphan

Why can’t orphans eat a large bag of chips? Because their family size.

My family is like a treasure…

You need a map and shovel to find them.

Teacher: Ok class I’m going to ask a question about your family. Alex: Miss my Dad died In 9/11 Teacher: OH NO IM SO SORRY! Alex: Don’t worry miss It was only Dad and besides he did what he wanted before he died. Teacher: What was that? Alex: Flew the plane.

What do you it when a orphan takes a family photo? a selfie

My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I’ll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.

Hey can’t wait to meet you! So join the crippiling depression family!!

So I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion. (SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING