Mommy

Mommy jokes

Stripper

    • How do men like their women? Striped.

    How does a priest like their children? Clean.

    Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.

    What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.

  • 1

    • Sex

    • Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.

  • 1

    • Death

    • Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us?

    Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Son: Why?

    Dad: To get to the other side, but your mother only made it about halfway.

  • 10
    • Mommy memes

    Cinderblock

    • There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, "Momma, why is my name Rose?" The mommy cow replies, "Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born." The next calf comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?" The mother replies, "Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born." The third baby comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Daisy?" The momma cow again replieds, "Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head." The final baby walks over and says, "Huh Ruh Buh Duh!" The momma cow says, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"

  • 65

    • Mailman

    • The mailman came to drop the mail off.

    Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.

    Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."

    Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."

  • 1

    • Roast

    • James, sike, I lied, your mommy is pancakes, is so dry.

    My best friend: Joey, sike, I lied, your Twitch is dry.

    My other friends: the winner is................. my guy James!

  • 0

    • Music

    • When my mom said you have to listen to classical music at my new school, I had to listen to it twenty-four seven. After that, I sang the song [with] the wrong melody for my music teacher 😎