Joshisboss

If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."

Son: Dad, I know I'm adopted.

Dad: Well, how do you know?

Son: I found the adoption papers.

Dad: That is for your mum.

If you know, you know.

My dog is pregnant. I'm gonna be a... I don't know?

Ohhh, an owner.

No one has the right to look down on others unless you're perfect, and looking down on others is not perfect either.

It's just true.

Why do we tell actors to break a leg?

Cause every play has a cast.

you play gatcha life more like go get a life.

What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.

I made it, DON'T COPY!!!

Be careful what you say around Indians, the red dot means they're recording.

BTW, I am one, wahahaa!

Rizz,

Are you a biographer? Cause I picture us together.

Can I take a picture of you for I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

No pen, no paper, you still draw my attention.

You know what I hate about math? They always talk about x and y, but not about u and i.

Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"

Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.

LOL

Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!

Why can’t orphans play baseball? They ain’t got no home to run to.

Why can’t England people play chess? They ain’t got no queen.

Joe mama so fat when she went to the movies she sat next to everybody Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said one at a time please Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said to be continued

I was gonna say when you were born your mum saw you and screamed, but I remembered you were adopted...