If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking fanta make you fantastic?
What is a superhero’s 🦸♀️ favorite drink?
Fruit punch!🍷👊💥😂
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
Child: *drinking milk*
Farmer: hey, what are you doing?
Child: oh I just milked one of your cows
Farmer: We don't have any cows, we only have bulls
Child: *realizes*
A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Well... My oldest son just came out..." The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. "What now?" the bartender asks. "My middle son just came out." The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. "Again?" the bartender asks. "Yeah. My youngest son." He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. "My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??" the bartender asks. "Yeah... My wife."
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That’ll give you a reason to get up in the morning
What's a depressed person's favorite drink? A depresso espresso.
Jk
It's cyanide.
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? - Because she heard the drinks were on the house.
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning
I finally stopped drinking for good
Now I purely drink for evil
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off." Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom? The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf." "Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun. So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. ! She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?" "No thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.
Now, how about that drink?"
What do elephants drink on vacation? Peanut coladas.
What day should you drink water? Thursday, Thirstday
What’s red and bad for your dental health? A brick. What’s invisible and bad for you to breath? Mustard gas. What’s green and bad for you to drink? Radioactive waste
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
I accidentally drank a little food coloring last night. I ended up dying inside.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What is an orphan's favorite beer?
"Fosters."
What's a depressed persons favourite drink
Depresso espresso
Nah just kidding it's bleach
