Dad Jokes

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Little Timmy wanted to take a shower with his dad. His dad said don't look down. Timmy looked down. Timmy said "What's that?". Timmy's dad said "that's Mr.wiggles". Timmy wanted to take a shower with his mom. Timmy's mom said don't look down. Timmy looked down. Timmy said "What's that?". Timmy's mom said "that's my garden". Timmy's mom said don't look up. Timmy looked up. Timmy said "What are those?". Timmy's mom said those are her headlights. Timmy wanted to sleep with his parents. His parents said don't look under the covers. Timmy looked under the covers. Timmy yelled "MOMMY, MOMMY, MR.WIGGLES IS ATTACKING YOUR GARDEN! TURN ON YOUR HEADLIGHTS!"

My dads the oldest and when he was young he shot my grandpas balls off but I thought about it how does my dad have younger brothers

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Billy: *spits out food*

Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths.

Dad: *looks at mom*

Mom: Shut up

If you get you get it

I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any ideea how much I hate playing monopoly with my dad.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

“Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?” No sun.

My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’

Now, my wrists look like a tiger

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”

Dad: “Call me George"

My dad went out for milk. It's been 15 years and I still have to eat my cereal dry.

My dad is so good at instruments, he said he loves to finger 'a minor'

What does my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found

Your hairline is so far back that your dad still can't find his way back home.

My dad brought me some sunglasses but it still wasn't enough to keep my son out of my life.

I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started she said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked my dad he said it all started with Adam and Eve so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOL🤣

*An obese depressed mother is trying to tie a noose but can't reach it so she calls her son for help* *a few minutes later* son: there mother: where did you learn to tie such a good noose? son: dad showed me before he died mother: DAM HIM TO HE- *slips and noose chokes her to death*