Dad jokes

Did your dad ever tell you he was going to get milk... But then never came back lol? 😅

Son: Dad, how was I born?

Dad: Your mum's a hoe.

Son: OK, what's a hoe?

Dad: Your mum.

My dad died, so I dug his grave. I was asked why I murdered him. I answered, "Guess we'll never know who did it because he dug his own grave." My father was William Afton.

My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.

POV: Orphans rule the world.

God said, "I'm your dad," then kills himself.

The orphan: Waaaaaa!

Girl: Mom, meet my boyfriend.

Mom: Meet my boyfriend.

Girl's boyfriend: Dad, is that you? Are you back from the supermarket with milk?

Mom's boyfriend: Uh, gtg.

I'll call you later. Don't call me later, call me Dad.

My dad tells me and my sister to stop arguing, so she elbowed me in my damn nose.

Why do orphans like fucking other dads?

Because they get to have a daddy.

Friend: My mum took my phone from me, and I really want it back.

Me: Yeah, well, Hades took my parents from me, and the funny thing is, I don't want them back.

Wife: Honey, I’m pregnant. Husband: Hi Pregnant, I’m dad. Wife: No, you’re not.

You take a plane from Australia. Your mom is American, your dad is British, and your brother (and you) is Canadian (well, because they traveled along many places). You are eating dinner, but you realized you were going to Europe.

You went sleepy, and you forgot your pet named "Strallia." But she could not go anyways, so you had to leave her. When you went to Europe, you were in the "COUNTRY-SIDE."

When the phone is ringing, Dad says, "If it's for me, don't answer it."

My dad is a pussy.

Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"

Dad: "I don’t know, son. I’m still paying for it."

Your eyebrows run away like your dad.

Bruh, people always makin' jokes 'bout how their dad left, well in my story it was the mum that needed milk.

Why shouldn't you trust trees? Because they seem shady.

I turned the light on, and my dad said turn it off, so I unplugged his life support.

How do I make my dick disappear?

I put it in your dad.