I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

0

I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.

0

Why did the coffee file a police report? – Because it was mugged.

0

Why are cats bad storytellers? – Because they only have one tale.

0

What did the beach say as the tide came in?

Long time, no sea.

0

How does Moses prepare his tea? – Hebrews it.

2

A prisoner was told how he’ll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.

0

RIP boiling water. You will be mist.

0

Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, “I can’t believe I blew forty bucks in there.”

2

I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.”

“Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

0

What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? – Well, the flag is a big plus.

0

Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

0

What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? – Itenticle.

0

6:30 is the best time on a clock… hands down.

2

What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”

1

What do you call a nose without a body? – Nobody knows.

0

“How is your long distance relationship going?” – “So far, so good.”

0

Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.

0

Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.

0

So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world

0
WorstJokesEver.com uses cookies.