I would tell you a construction pun, but I'm still working on it
I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
Why did the picture go to jail? Cause it was framed!
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
I Googled "How to start a Wildfire". I got 48,500 matches.
Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
Some people think prison is one word...but to robbers it’s a whole sentence
little johnny was siting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life and ask him " little johnny how do you want your wife to be like" and he answered " like the moon" and the teacher said " that's such a beautiful answer because it calm and peaceful " and little johnny said " no because it appears at night and disappears in the morning"
If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man." I replied, "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
There was a kidnapping at school...
Don´t worry, he woke up.
a mexican was doing a magic trick he said “uno, dos,” then disappeared without a trace
If i'm the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a... guardian of the galaxy?
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. -- A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry
So I threw a coconut at her
Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!
"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible" "Well, tell him I can't see him right now."
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
