I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.

Why does peter pan always fly because he NeverLands

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.”

“Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

RIP boiling water. You will be mist.

I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. so I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle.

I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.

A prisoner was told how he’ll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.

I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.

My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”

I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”

I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. – I’m not really a mourning person.

I would tell you a construction pun, but I’m still working on it

My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high…

I Googled “How to start a Wildfire”. I got 48,500 matches.

How do trees get online? – They just log in.

I accidentally drank a little food colouring last night. I ended up dying inside.

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

Will glass coffins be a success? – Remains to be seen.

Wanna hear a terrible Joke?


Pretty tear-able, huh?

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