I started a band called 999 megabytes… we still haven’t gotten a gig
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry
So I threw a coconut at her
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.”
“Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”
Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. so I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle.
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”
I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”