My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. what a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH

I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.”

“Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

I accidentally drank a little food colouring last night. I ended up dying inside.

Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

having sex in a elevator is wrong on so many levels

I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. so I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle.

My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high…

I Googled “How to start a Wildfire”. I got 48,500 matches.

RIP boiling water. You will be mist.

Wanna hear a terrible Joke?


Pretty tear-able, huh?

Some people think prison is one word…but to robbers it’s a whole sentence

What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?

A receding hare line.

I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.

A prisoner was told how he’ll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.

Why does peter pan always fly because he NeverLands

I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. – I’m not really a mourning person.

I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.

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