Stepdad jokes

What's the difference between my dad and my stepdad?

My stepdad beat my ass before he left.

My stepdad took me to work, and he told me I could climb trees.

I woke up in a hospital. Wait, did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack?

My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.

Why do orphans hate p*rn hub?

They always see a stepdad and stepsis.

What’s the difference between cancer and my abusive stepdad?

My stepdad did beat cancer.

What did the stepdad say to the flower? You're grounded!

You look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flipped glazed charcoal slim jim Mr. clog hunch frap, no feet, 9 arms, 17 stomachs. You stepdad beat you with a wiffle ball bat. NBA Youngboy was in your bathroom spitting on you and now you got herpes on your left side cheek.

I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.

My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."

Why does Adam sleep early so his mum and stepdad can fuck on his bed?

Trump: Caillou, can you please stop whining? That squirrel didn’t just eat our pizza, he also ditched your dad, and he’s your stepdad now.

Caillou: Why I’m bald, Trumpy?

Trump: I don’t know, but what I do know is that you’re a massive shit stain.