Ball jokes

Why do midgets laugh when they run?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

What's the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?

Deer balls. They're under a buck.

Screw sister from a mister or brother from another mother. We besties from another testie.

Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?

Because they don't have balls.

What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.

What's the difference between snow men and snow women?

Snow balls.

What has three balls and flies through space?

E.T. the extra testicle.

Call me Willma, will my balls fit ya mouth?

you.

I hate myself.

What's it called if you give a kid in a wheelchair a ball? Rocket League.

Do you know Putin?

Put in these balls in your mouth.

Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, "Mommy, mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddy's clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started...". The mother cuts him off and says "Just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me." Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting "I'm leaving you... Go ahead Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier." Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. "Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle Joe last summer."

So, a guy is evading the draft. The cops bang on his door, and he runs out the back, through an alleyway onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse. She complies, and the cops walk by and don't see them. The man comes back up from under the nun's blouse and says, "Hey man, you've got a pair of balls!" The nun says, "I didn't wanna be drafted either..."

I used to be a banker but I lost interest.

Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.

Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired).

What's the difference between calling someone dad or daddy? How you come from his balls.

I respect cancer more than I respect depression.

At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.

What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?

A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

Have you heard of the... uh Pokemon called uh rhy... rhy... Rhydon deez nuts?

What's the one thing me and the New Year's ball have in common?

It's not gonna be the only thing falling 50 stories this New Year's.