Ball Jokes

Anonymous

Why do midgets laugh when they run?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

Anonymous

the gayest person in the world is pacman. you can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.

8
Anonymous
in Difference

Whats the difference between snow men and snow women?

Snow balls

0
jimmidy cricket
in Best

what has three balls and flys through space?

E.T. the extra testicle

2
freshfry

call me willma, willma balls fit ya mouth!!

mixed joke boom box
in Little Johnny

Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, “mommy mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddy’s clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started…”. The mother cuts him off and says “just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.” Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting “I’m leaving you… Go ahead Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier.” Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. “Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle joe last summer.”

...
in Puns

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

3
Anonymous
in Offensive

whats it called if u give a kid in a wheelchair a ball

rocket league

kenzie

i hate myself

Anonymous
in Animal

What’s the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?

Deer balls. They’re under a buck.

3
Chingus Chong
in Dirty Joke

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?

She gagged.

5
Anonymous
in Woman

Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?

Because they don’t have balls.

random person

(found on web) There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength.

News began to circulate of a Russian wrestler who was fierce and unstoppable. As each wrestlers legends grew, a match was set up between the two, America versus Russia. The match would be held in Texas.

John began training immediately. Every day his coach would tell him, “This Russian has a move called the Mongolian Death Grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian Death Grip. DO NOT let him get you in the Mongolian Death Grip”

The day of the match finally came. Just before each wrestler stepped onto the mat in front of the capacity crowd, the coach once again said, “Whatever you do, do not let him get you in the Mongolian death grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian death grip”.

Four seconds into the match, the Russian had the American in the Mongolian death grip. The coach buried his face into his hands and cursed John for not listening to his advice. All of the sudden he heard the crowd irrupt in a chant of USA USA USA. He looked up and saw the Russian pinned by John. The coach ran out to meet John and embarrassingly told him, “I didn’t see… Once he had you in the Mongolian Death Grip I looked away. How in the world did you get out of the Mongolian death grip?”

With heavy breath, John told him “Well coach, that Russian grabbed me and twisted my body in ways I never imagined possible. I was wincing in pain when I open my eyes and right in front of me were two testicles. So I bit them.”

“What???” Said the coach… “John I don’t think that is legal. You could be disqualified”

“I don’t know about that coach. But I can tell you one thing. You ain’t got no idea how strong you are until you bite your own balls”

Anonymous
in Christmas

What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.

8
Anonymous
in Dwarf

why do dwarfs laugh when they run. the grass tickles their balls.

6
Anonymous

What do you call two Mexicans playing basket ball? Juan on Juan

Hardlynkrmalp5
in Dark Humor

I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair Now we’re playing rocket league

Anonymous
in Puns

I used to be a banker but I lost interest…

Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.

Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired)

Anonymous

Screw sister from a mister or brother from another mother. We besties from another testie.

King tee
in Russian

What do you call a Russian man with three balls? ‘Whodya nikabollokov’