Broke jokes

I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.

My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.

I just broke up with my mathematician girlfriend. She was obsessed with an X.

I broke up with my RBLX gf, and I heard my uncle crying in the other room.

My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!

It's not my birthday, but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house.

When Ariana Grande broke up with Pete, she said, "I have one less problem without you."

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.

What do the Twin Towers and my ad's condom both have in common?

They both broke and everybody cried.

What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?

You would be dam unlucky.

Why was Hitler broke?

The gas prices are outrageous.

Yo mama so fat that she broke the scale when she put one foot on it.

My grandad broke his legs.

To cheer him up, I bought him a Walkman.

Yo momma is so fat, when she tried to hang herself, the noose broke.

Two guys watching a war movie at a bar are talking. One says to the other, "The Nazis starved my dad to death in a concentration camp during the war."

The other says, "My dad died in a camp as well... he broke his neck."

First guy says, "How did he break his neck?"

Second guy says, "He fell out of the guard tower."

What happened when the American broke his arm?

He went broke.

I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.

Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.

Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:

1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps

My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday. I asked her why. She said, "Because you're a pedophile." I replied, "Pedophile! That's a big word for an eight year old."

A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"

The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"

Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"

They said time heals all wounds, well, I broke your watch.