I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man." I replied, "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer." Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”
Someone glued my deck of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it.
I lost a race with a handicapped person today. The problem was the race was all stairs.
Gravity sure is fast
Boy: why is my sister named Rose Dad: someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head Boy: okay Dad Dad: No problem Brick
'The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem" -Jack Sparrow
I've got 99 problems and one of them is that I count my problems instead of solving them
I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.
What did the math book say to the other math book?
Wanna hear my problems?
What's the problem with 9/11 jokes? They are just two plane
What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"
My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!
The Titanic, just like my phone IT JUST WON'T SYNC
Edit: Never mind it started to sync...
I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn't like it if we don't work on math in his class. So I did science homework on top of a math book
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
I have a problem my dad any my girlfriend have the same birthday. So one took my virginity and the other is my girlfriend
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, that's a hardware problem.
I teach orphans But the problem is I can't give them home work
I don’t see what the problem is.
The Supreme Court came up with a solution to the tampon shortage, yet all the liberals are pissed!
what did the science textbook say to the math textbook you've got a lot of problems
