# Mathematician Jokes

## Pirate

3.14% of sailors are...

π-rates.

## Number

What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? -- The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.

## Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

## Number

I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.

## Math

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, "You guys should know your limits."

## Number

4, 6, 8 and 9 have all been killed. -- 2, 3, 5, 7 and 11 are the prime suspects.

## Toilet

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil

## Music

If Al Gore started a math rock band it should be called Algorhythm.

## Math

Why don't Romans find algebra interesting?

X is always 10.

## Die

Where do mathematicians go to die?

The symmetry

## Knight

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi

## Math

An chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore. The chemist and the physicist come up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."

## Religion

Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?

Because they don't believe in higher powers.

## Math

Who invented fractions? -- Henry the 1/8.

## Math

I had a conversation with a Möbius strip. -- It was one-sided.

## Tan

How does a mathematician get tan? -- sin/cos.

## Wife

A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m. and his wife is livid. "You swore that you'd be home by 11:45!" "No," slurs the mathematician, "I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12."

## Rap

Why did the rapper become a mathematician?

To count his STACKS of CASH

## Math

What does the B in Benoît B. Mandelbrot stand for?

Benoît B. Mandelbrot

Hi boyyyy