Mathematician

Mathematician Jokes

Beer

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers, and says, "You guys should know your limits."

  • 0
  • Stoner

    What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.

  • 1
  • Chemist

    An chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore.

    The chemist and the physicist come up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."

    Umbrella

    I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.

  • 3
  • Number

    4, 6, 8, and 9 have all been killed. 2, 3, 5, 7, and 11 are the prime suspects.

  • 3
  • Pencil

    Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

    He worked it out with a pencil.

    Math

    If Al Gore started a math rock band, it should be called Algorhythm.

    Pi

    The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

    Atheist

    Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?

    Because they don't believe in higher powers.

  • 1
  • Rapper

    Why did the rapper become a mathematician?

    To count his STACKS of CASH.