My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant, but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.
It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary.
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That's a big word for a seven year old.
What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
The judge asked me, "How does 5 to 10 years sound?"
I said, "Sexy."
What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.
I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.
What's a pedophile's favorite type of garden?
A kindergarden.
Girls are like math; if they're under ten, then you use your fingers.
What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.
My friend told me he had a sister. I asked if she was hot, and he said she was 8. That wasn't my question.
What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? -- Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween? -- Free delivery.
What do a pedophile and a clock have in common? Neither of them go past 12.
A pedophile is chatting on the internet: "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"
Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a pedophile. However, I think that's a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8-year-olds.
Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.
A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.
The little boy says, "I'm scared."
The pedophile says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
- There's 20 of them.
I like my girls how I like my wine, 12 years locked in the basement.
People who are afraid of pedophiles... need to grow up.
