Pedophile jokes
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That's a big word for a seven year old.
Girls are like math; if they're under ten, then you use your fingers.
My friend told me he had a sister. I asked if she was hot, and he said she was 8. That wasn't my question.
What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.
What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween? -- Free delivery.
Why do pedophiles never win a race?
Because they are always coming in a little behind.
What's the difference between Jesus and the baby I have in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
What's a pedophile's favorite type of garden?
A kindergarden.
What did the rapist say to his victim?
"Go ahead, call the police. We will see who comes first."
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
- There's 20 of them.
What type of file does it take to turn a 4 mm hole to a 44 mm hole?
A pedophile.
Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.
A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with "Hey girls, would you like some candy?" They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says "God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes."
People who are afraid of pedophiles... need to grow up.
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
Two pedophiles talking to each other:
"Do you got two fives for one ten?"
I was raised a Catholic, and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate."
I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"
I like my girls how I like my wine, 12 years locked in the basement.
Is it just me, or when you wipe your ass too deep, it reminds you of your uncle? Just me?
What do city plumbers and pedophiles have in common?
They both lay pipes in public parks.