Jokes About Pedophiles

My girlfriend is 19 and I’m 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.

It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary

Say what you want about Pedophiles but at least they drive slow through school zones

My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a seven year old.

The judge asked me "How does 5 to 10 years sound?" I said “Sexy.”

What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? – They both want to get there before the hare does.

What’s the hardest part about being a pedophile?

Fitting in.

What do a pedophile and a clock have in common…neither of them go pass 12.

A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.

The little boy says, “I’m scared.”

The pedophile says, “You think you’re scared? I have to walk back alone!”

Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a padophile however I think that’s a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8 year olds

What do you call an all you can eat buffet for a Pedophile? A school bus.

What do you call a a fight between an illegal immigrant and a pedophile? Alien vs Predator.

Ever wonder where people got their surnames? Mr Baker was probably a baker. Mr Butcher was probably a butcher. And then there was Mr Dickinson…

People who are afraid of pedophiles… need to grow up.

Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”