The judge asked me "How does 5 to 10 years sound?" I said “Sexy.”

I like my girls how I like my wine, 12 years locked in the basement .

What do a pedophile and a clock have in common…neither of them go pass 12.

My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a seven year old.

My daughter has gotten to the age where she asks me embarrassing questions about sex Just this morning she asked me “Is that the best you can do?”

What’s the worst way for a pedophile to apologize to their victim?

Make up sex.

What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? – They both want to get there before the hare does.

What’s a pedophile’s favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.

Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.

What’s the hardest part about being a pedophile?

Fitting in.

Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a padophile however I think that’s a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8 year olds

How is spinach like anal sex?

If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won’t like it as an adult.

What is a pedophiles favorite part about Halloween? – Free delivery.

Why do pedophiles never win a race?

Because they are always coming in a little behind.

People who are afraid of pedophiles… need to grow up.

What did the rapist say to his victim. Go ahead call the police we will see who comes first.

What’s a pedophiles favorite shoe? White vans

My friend told me he had a sister. i asked if she was hot and he said she was 8. that wasnt my question

How do you keep the neighbor kids from playing in your yard?

You fuck one of them

A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.

The little boy says, “I’m scared.”

The pedophile says, “You think you’re scared? I have to walk back alone!”