Pedophile jokes
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
- There's 20 of them.
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That's a big word for a seven year old.
People who are afraid of pedophiles... need to grow up.
My friend told me he had a sister. I asked if she was hot, and he said she was 8. That wasn't my question.
Why do pedophiles never win a race? Because they are always coming in a little behind.
Girls are like math; if they're under ten, then you use your fingers.
I was raised a Catholic, and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate."
I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"
What type of file does it take to turn a 4 mm hole to a 44 mm hole?
A pedophile.
What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.
What do a pedophile and a clock have in common? Neither of them go past 12.
What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.
What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween? -- Free delivery.
What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy children.
Is it just me, or when you wipe your ass too deep, it reminds you of your uncle? Just me?
My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant, but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.
It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary.
A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with "Hey girls, would you like some candy?" They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says "God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes."
What did the rapist say to his victim?
"Go ahead, call the police. We will see who comes first."
The judge asked me, "How does 5 to 10 years sound?"
I said, "Sexy."
What's the difference between Jesus and the baby I have in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.