Broke jokes

I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.

I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!

Me be like: ;-;

Roses are red, violets are blue,

Your mum's so fat, she broke Britain too!

The belt broke.

My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........

IMAGINE!

What did the frog do when his car broke down?

It was toad.

Papyrus was playing with the human, but then Papyrus fell and he broke the cell bone of the human.

An Eskimo was holidaying in New Zealand and while driving his rented car around the countryside it broke down. A bloke passing by offered to help, lifted the bonnet and said, "I know your problem, you blew a seal."

The Eskimo with a shocked expression retorted, "Yeah? Well you fuck sheep!"

The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"

Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.

...

I guess her rubber broke too.

What did the mouse 🐭 say when his friend broke their teeth?

Hard cheese! 🧀😂

What did Michael Jackson say before he broke up with Billie Jean?

"Billie Jean is not my lover!"

Yo mama so FAT... I tried to picture her in my head... AND SHE BROKE MY GOD DAMN NECK!

Yo mama so fat, she broke Usain Bolt's 100 meter speed record by taking ONE STEP!

Me and my girlfriend broke up, so I took her wheelchair, and she came crawling back.

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.

My girlfriend broke up with me because of my pasta fetish.

I'm feeling cannelloni right now.

An orphan girl's boyfriend broke up with her, what was his reason?

"If her parents didn't want her, why should I?"

1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.

2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.

3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.

4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.

5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.

7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.

8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.

9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.

10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?

11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.

12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.

I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden.

It just doesn’t make any cents!

If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.