Broke jokes
My girlfriend broke up with me this morning, and we just started dating yesterday.
Now she's having a breakfast.
My dishwasher is broke.
My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........
IMAGINE!
You're so fat that you broke Thanos's snap!
So, my best friend's boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.
So I told her a "single" joke, then she said, "Go and fucking die, you insensitive bitch!"
I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF, I will break his body for you—happy now?"
She said, "*sniff* yes."
My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.
My dog stepped on a bee, My child spilt my tea, I drank my hot tea, I broke my bloody knee, Now I'm lying in agony, And I'm devastated with no glee.
(Again, credits to my really funny friend)
My bully: Your face is ugly.
Me: Yeah well your mom is so fat she broke the stairway to heaven.
My bully: :(
1st graders: Ay yo girl, I think you’re beautiful, let’s get married!!
2nd graders: Uhh, don’t tell my mom that we’re dating!! She won’t let me date! Let’s keep this a seeeeecret heeheehee.
3rd graders: Uh, my teacher told me to stay after school because I wrote a poem about you and I’m 9 years old, we have to break up, sweetie.
4th graders: Hey, I think you’re cute!! Wanna date? I don’t think my girlfriend will mind.......
5th graders (they start wearing makeup): Ay girl, your eyelashes are pretty, I like you now, wanna date? Here’s my numberrrrrr.
6th graders: Heyyyyy, I gotta tell you a secret, I got a crush on you!! Don’t tell anyone!! Byeee, ooh, I’ll text you later!
7th graders: We need to make Peyton jealous because she broke up with you!! Wanna date? I mean, you’re not hot, but still, great personalityyyyy, alright, bye now.
8th graders: Hi sweetheart, I got STARRRBUCKKKSSS
Me: UGLY AF AND LITERALLY NO BOYFRIEND.....
Rape is no laughing matter. The reason why women are not believed in rape is because of you mother fucking shitbirds with no future who will become drunkards and drug dealers who go broke and live on the street getting hit by a fucking car. Fuck all of you sadists who think this kind of shit is funny, well shut the fuck up. Go jump off a bridge or get hit by car and I hope you fucking sickos die.
Stop rape. Stop rappe. Stop rapibg innocent children and women and men. I am done with rape. I am done with it!
I left a ticket to a WNBA game on the dashboard when I went to go get the groceries.
A burglar broke in and left another one on the dashboard.
Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!
My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
Hey, What do you want? We broke up like 5 days ago, leave me alone. Ok, first wanna do some things? What kind of things? Illegal things. Like what? Knock you off and hide your body. 🤡🤡🗡
What did the rapper say to his BROKEN PENCIL?
"You broke the beat!"
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.
My girlfriend broke up with me because of my pasta fetish. I'm feeling cannelloni right now.
My pencil sharpener when I bleed:
And I don't really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.
Fat jokes and mom jokes😂
1. So fat when she sat on the toilet, she said, "A B C D E F G, get your fat ass off me."
2. So fat, your dad and her were in bed and tried to kiss. He’d have to slap her belly and ride the third wave up.
3. Yo mama so fat that when she went to Japan in a green bikini, they all started yelling, "Godzilla, Godzilla."
4. Your mama’s so fat when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!
5. Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale, it said "to be continued."
6. Yo mama so fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.