I had a boyfriend once, he broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive," guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.
A man went to the doctors and the doctor said “what happened to you?” The man replied and said “I broke my arm in two places!” Then the doctor replied with “DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!”
They said time heals all wounds, well I broke your watch.
The popular girl told me "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!" Two weeks later, She shows up pregnant.
... I guess her rubber broke too
What did the mouse 🐭 say when his friend broke their teeth?
Hard cheese! 🧀😂
YO MAMA! Yo mama so FAT... i tried to picture her in my head... AND SHE BROKE MY GOD DAMN NECK!
Me and my girls friend broke up so I took her wheel chair and she came crawling back
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb.
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low and the cliff was non existent and now you took the poison !"
Yo mama so fat, she broke Usain Bolt's 100 meter speed record by taking ONE STEP!
My girlfriend broke up with me because of my pasta fetish.
I'm feeling cannelloni right now.
An orphan girl’s boyfriend broke up with her, what was his reason?
“If her parents didn’t want her, why should I?” 😂😂😂
After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park. Lord: Has something happened while I was gone? Gardener: Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burrying your dog. Lord: My dog died?! Gardener: Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down. Lord: My mansion?! How?! Gardener: Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains. Lord: Why was she so distraught? Gardener: She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped. Lord: My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?! Gardener: Oh right! Your cancer test results!
me and a wheel chair person was playing tag and i broke my leg so it can be fair for him.
I broke my arm yesterday, my bro said it is Arm-mageddon. And I still don’t know why.
A skeleton walks into the hospital and said: doctor doctor i broke my leg The doctor said: i see...
I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden, It just doesn’t make any cents!
Did you hear on the news that a midget psychic broke out of jail? There is a small medium at large. (Pause For Laughter)
Q:why didn't the skeleton laugh at the joke? A: he broke his funny bone!
What did Michael Jackson say before he broke up with Billie Jean? Billie Jean is not my lover.
