In communist Russia there is no discrimination. White, black, African, American, British and Asian. They all go to Gulag eventually
An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like "it's an elevator not a lift" and "it's chips not crisps" etc. After a while of this the British person calmly retorted "they're schools, not shooting ranges".
What's the difference between an American 12-year-old and an African 12-year-old? About 40 pounds.
An American woman married a British man. On their honeymoon, the British husband said, ̈You look like a million pounds! ̈ The wife divorced him.
Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.
What do you call a sophisticated American?
A Canadian
*School shooting happens*
Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk*
American student: "First time?"
Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons. American: I won't ever see my dog again! Italian: I won't ever make pizzas again! German: Hey, granddad, how have you been?
An American and an Asian walk into a bar. What are your names the bartender asks. The American says William Matthews. The Asian says Same Ting
If you're American outside the restroom, what are you in the restroom?
European.
What are you on your way to the bathroom?
Russian
Wonder why the British are so good at chess? They have the queen.
Wonder why Americans are so bad at chess? They lost two towers.
A professor was talking about the american dream. then, he asked the german exchange student if there was a german dream, to which the student replies "we did, but no one liked it."
What does the initials ACLU stand for 🤔 American Communist Lawyers Union
Russian, American, and Polish stood by the lake shore.
Russian ran ahead to dive and yelled "vodka" and the lake changed into vodka.
Polish ran ahead to dive and yelled "beer" and the lake changed into beer.
American ran to dive,slipped,and said, "oh shit".
Americans won't have a Thanksgiving Dinner this year. Why not? They sent their turkey to the White House.
9 out of 10 Americans are stupid... I'm so glad I'm in the 1%.
Indian guy and American guy in a wheelchair met in a Bar for drinks. American guy got drunk and fell on the sidewalk. Indian guy got drunk and walked away.
Why do Native Americans hate snow?
Because it's white and settles on their land.
If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
Euro-peein
I’m telling my kids that in 2020 I survived world war 3, the zombie apocalypse, the invasion of the murder hornets, and the second American revolution
