I was talking to a beaver about my life. I don't think he really gave a dam about it at all.
Dam Jokes
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I've ever seen.
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.
What do you call people who jump into the Hoover Dam?
Dam fools.
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."
I went to the dam to take the dam tour, but the dam tour guide told me there wasn't going to be a dam tour that day. So I was thirsty and I wanted some dam water, but the dam man wouldn't give me any dam water, so I told the dam man to keep his dam water.
Two fish walked into a wall. One said to the other, "Dam!"
What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?
You would be dam unlucky.
Question: What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Answer: Dam.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
When we were visiting the Hoover Dam, I started to get a bit hungry. I asked my parents, "Where's the dam snack bar?"
Is that ass a water barrier 'cause dam[n]?
That dam looks damn cool!
You're so damn fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.
An obese, depressed mother is trying to tie a noose, but can't reach it, so she calls her son for help.
*A few minutes later*
son: There.
mother: Where did you learn to tie such a good noose?
son: Dad showed me before he died.
mother: DAMN HIM TO HE- *slips and the noose chokes her to death*
Q: What is a lesbian's version of a cock block?
A: A beaver dam.
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down.
Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C!
You're so damn ugly that the robbers only go into your house to close the blinds.
Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."