Dam jokes

I was talking to a beaver about my life. I don't think he really gave a dam about it at all.

I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I've ever seen.

I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.

What do you call people who jump into the Hoover Dam?

Dam fools.

What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."

I went to the dam to take the dam tour, but the dam tour guide told me there wasn't going to be a dam tour that day. So I was thirsty and I wanted some dam water, but the dam man wouldn't give me any dam water, so I told the dam man to keep his dam water.

Two fish walked into a wall. One said to the other, "Dam!"

What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?

You would be dam unlucky.

Question: What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

Answer: Dam.

Why do midgets laugh when they run?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

When we were visiting the Hoover Dam, I started to get a bit hungry. I asked my parents, "Where's the dam snack bar?"

Is that ass a water barrier 'cause dam[n]?

That dam looks damn cool!

You're so damn fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.

An obese, depressed mother is trying to tie a noose, but can't reach it, so she calls her son for help.

*A few minutes later*

son: There.

mother: Where did you learn to tie such a good noose?

son: Dad showed me before he died.

mother: DAMN HIM TO HE- *slips and the noose chokes her to death*

Q: What is a lesbian's version of a cock block?

A: A beaver dam.

I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down.

Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?

Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C!

You're so damn ugly that the robbers only go into your house to close the blinds.

Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."