Intimacy jokes

My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10. Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9! That's the best I've done so far.

I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.

Her: Eat my ass!

Me: Yes, chef!

Ty choked on DT’s willy.

Hey babe, I’m looking to get 23 years in 23 seconds, can you help?

What did the plane that crashed on the ground say? Let me crash between those legs, girl!

Sorry, cringy joke.

Last night I had sex and she said, "Stop talking about s***, OMG!" and I made her scream so loud she said, "Her balls hurt!"

I suck Cyrus's dick when he is sleeping.

Meeting a girl at a park is good, but parking meat in girl is better.

I just had sex...

I think I nailed it!

(Shit joke, I know.)

I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging.

Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.

Why did my mouth say no to butt? Because that would be too much sex.

The woman said stop, but the man kept going, so the wife just kept fucking.

Guy and Girl are in the shower talking to each other.

Guy: Let's drop the soap.

Girl: Let's do it!

I tried to have phone sex once.

But the holes were too small.

I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested its factuality.

Well, it's been some good years now, haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.

The highest praise my wife gave to me was when she told me, "The best feminine attribute on your body as a woman would be your p🍆nis." 🥰

Do you like Imagine Dragons?

Imagine draggin' my balls on your face.

When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."

She’s so therapeutic.

When I need to cure my restlessness, I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your mom's breastestess!