My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9!
That's the best I've done so far.
Brojobs are like air. It's not important until you don't have any.
What does a glory hole and a confessional booth have in common? blowjob is anonymous
I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging. -- Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.
Sex is like math
You add a bed 🛌
Subtract the clothes👚👕👖👙
Divide the legs🪢
And pray you don’t multiply 👨❤️👨👩❤️👨👩❤️👩
Getting murdered by someone is probably the most intimate experience I'll ever have.
Only one of Kenny's girlfriends has ever said he's good in bed. But she has to. She's his mom.
I revealed my dick to my girlfriend.
As she saw it, she said, "Nevermind, just finger me."
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex on a scale of 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, and she kept shouting “9!”
That's the best I've done so far.
A woman comes to the doctor and tells her ‘doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?’ The doctor says ‘my number’
What’s the same with a toilet and anal sex. Your ass gets numb after a while
Why is Johnson's baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?
- No more tears.
Little Johnny tried phone sex, but the holes were too small.
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Stop and apply lubrication.
What does the penis say to the condom? Cover me I'm going inside
Leave a like if your like sex and porn.and talk to me if any question
What's funny about sex? I don't get it!
Weather is like sex. Once in a while you need to get wet.
A girl and boy are in bed after sex. The boy goes “I can’t believe they got together after all that shit” girl says “who” boy goes “ my ass cheeks”
A sex addict man meets a rich man around Christmas.
The sex addict asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The sex addict asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."
The sex addict nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" The sex addict thinks about it for a second and replies, "A gold necklace and a dildo."
The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The sex addict astutely reponds, "This way, if she doesn't like the jewelry she can go f... herself."
