Intimacy jokes

I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.

I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging.

Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.

My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10. Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9! That's the best I've done so far.

Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.

I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.

What’s the best thing about a blowjob?

The silence.

Who ever said "condom?" YES DADDY!

Want to do a titcock dance with me?

I think I need to kiss your butt.

Daddy, harder!

My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."

Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.

The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.

The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.

In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.

What’s something you can say in bed and in a Zoom meeting?

"Do you want the cameras on or off?"

If I fuck you harder, you have to scream "daddy," but what happens when you cum?

What do nail polish and panties have in common?

Both come off with alcohol.

What should you do after banging the tightest pussy?..

Just put the diaper on her 😉

Kiss a girl on the forehead make her happy for a day.

If you give her anal you'll make her whole weak.

Konan was having sex on the couch, thinking how he'd come so far.

"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"

"I think you should ask yourself that."

Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!

You know my first name, but don’t worry about it; you’ll only be screaming my first.