Workout jokes
After an intense workout, I finally have the body I've always dreamed of.
It's in my basement.
My arm: "I'M GETTING RIPPED TONIGHT!"
Why did the gym close down? -- It just didn't work out.
What is Jesus's favorite exercise?
Cross Fit.
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats.
How do you get to the Hogwarts gym?
Go through the dumbbell door.
I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.
He said the ATM outside.
Go on the quintillionaire morning routine now!
1. Wake up. 2. Take a shit. 3. Eat. 4. Get out of bed. 5. Have breakfast.
The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."
Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.
Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:
1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps
When you're exercising and you feel the “gush.”
No pine, no gain!
What do you call a Fuhrer who's also a fitness coach?
Adolf Fit-ler.
What’s an Emo’s favorite exercise?
The dead hang.
What is Jesus' favorite sport? CrossFit.
Biggest joke?
[Image of Zac Efron]
Like if you think oily men are hot.
What is Jesus’s Favorite Exercise?
CrossFit.
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
Why do some couples go to the gym together?
Because they want their relationship to work out.