Economy jokes
Your hairline is like the economy, it's going down.
Kid: How much do you get paid?
Teacher: Minimum wage.
Q: You know what's morbid at a storage sale?
A: They give you more bids.
I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.
Walmart (DYM 73).
I'm so poor that they let me buy the entire store! For $0...
For those of you greener than a Mexican's card when it comes to this website, it's darker than the unemployment line.
You're so poor, you lick postcards for food.
The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.
What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?
They both get really high.
Did you hear about the goldfish that went bankrupt?
Now he's a bronze fish.
What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend?
"Ain't you got no cents?"
Piggy: "Actually, no. Just pork."
Your mom is so fat when she skipped a meal, the whole stock market crashed.
Your mom is so fat she tripped, and I didn’t even laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Saw that shit on Roblox.
Why did the rapper go to the bank?
To make some cash withdrawals.
What’s worse than getting a job at McDonald’s?
Not getting the job at McDonald’s.
We're gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
They’re draining the economy doooown!
They’ve spent our budget on weed
and lube to spill Jack’s seed.
They’ve ruined our wonderful town!
We're gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
They have no moralityyyy.
They’re spreading degeneracy.
We ain't what we used to be.
We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,
but then they stopped at the tippy top to smoke some marijuana.
They went to the store, and got some more, to fetch a “few” more beers.
Next day they came, ran off again, repeat for 24 years.
We’re gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill!
They’ve banked off buying boooze!
They’ll drink and sell the price
at the original times thrice.
Corruption wins, the avg. folk’ll loseee.
We’re gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
Their kids’re in the business tooo!
They’re draining all our banks.
Give 'em well deserved spanks.
We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill.
Jack and Jill Netflix and chilled and made a grave mistaake.
What a blunder, there was no rubber, now they’re a house of eeiiight!
A bolt went off, they opened shop to resell their porn and lean.
It all went swell, but for us, well, we’re now an oligarchy!
WE’LL KILL OL' JACK AND JILL!
Your so broke your mom can't afford your daddy.
You're so fat when you walk into the mall, you *are* the mall.
Information has been leaked from government sources. When the current lock-up ends, the holder of the nation's purse, Fishi Rucksack, will launch a new initiative.
This will be to help the struggling "personal services" industry and will be labelled, "Sleep out to Help out."
Most people call it grave robbing...
I prefer to call it cryptocurrency.