School shooting

School shooting jokes

Survivor

What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?

A Sandy Hooker

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  • Funeral

    I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don't understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what's so sad?" and she said "What do you think was running through these kid's heads before they died?" I replied "probably a bullet". She gasped and said "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent's heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."

    School

    *School shooting happens*

    Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk*

    American student: "First time?"

    Tragedy

    How are school shooting victims and school shooting jokes similar?

    They never get old.

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  • Memes

    Friend

    My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.

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  • Sandy Hook

    Warning, this is dark.

    How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch? Give 'em a Sandy Hook.

    School

    I never get school shooting jokes.

    Maybe they're aimed at a younger audience.

    Shooting

    I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.

    I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.

    Tragedy

    A class is being taught when Bill Clinton walks in. He asks the class, "What is a tragedy?"

    One kid, named Jim, raises his hand and says, "If my family and I got ran over by a truck, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies, "That would be an accident, not a tragedy."

    A couple of seconds later, Audrey raises her hand and says, "If a school shooting would happen and 10 kids died, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies once again with: "That would be a great loss, not a tragedy." All of the kids are confused now when all of a sudden Matthew says, "If you and Hillary Clinton were on an airplane and it got blown up, that would be a tragedy!"

    "Yes!" Says Bill Clinton "How do you know?" Matthew says happily, "It is definitely not an accident, and certainly not a great loss!"

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  • Audience

    I usually don’t make school shooting jokes.

    Because they’re aimed at a younger audience.

    School

    If you shoot at a school of fish, could you call it a school shooting?

    Shooting Range

    I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised when I saw on the news that there was a school shooting in my shooting range. I don't know who snitched...

    Parent

    Want to know why parents don't get school shooting jokes?

    Because they are aimed at a younger audience.

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  • Shooting Range

    I went to the shooting range the other day. After a while, I realized I was the only one there. So, I decided to go home and saw on the news that there was a mass school shooting and there were reporters on the scene. Man, I knew I should have stayed around a little longer.

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  • Shooting

    Teachers at a school shooting be like: damn it. That's the third one this week and it's only Monday.

    Kid

    Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.

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  • Boy

    Two boys are talking on the bus.

    Boy 1: I feel like I'm forgetting something.

    Boy 2: Hey, did you hear about that school shooting last week?

    Boy 1: Oh, that's right.

    Kid

    What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

    Special forces.

    Shooting

    Why are school shooting jokes so funny?

    Answer: The bullets hit your funny bone!