School shooting jokes
What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?
A Sandy Hooker
I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don't understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what's so sad?" and she said "What do you think was running through these kid's heads before they died?" I replied "probably a bullet". She gasped and said "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent's heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."
Where is the cheapest gun range? Your local public school.
*School shooting happens*
Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk*
American student: "First time?"
My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.
How are school shooting victims and school shooting jokes similar?
They never get old.
Warning, this is dark.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch? Give 'em a Sandy Hook.
I never get school shooting jokes.
Maybe they're aimed at a younger audience.
I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.
I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.
A class is being taught when Bill Clinton walks in. He asks the class, "What is a tragedy?"
One kid, named Jim, raises his hand and says, "If my family and I got ran over by a truck, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies, "That would be an accident, not a tragedy."
A couple of seconds later, Audrey raises her hand and says, "If a school shooting would happen and 10 kids died, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies once again with: "That would be a great loss, not a tragedy." All of the kids are confused now when all of a sudden Matthew says, "If you and Hillary Clinton were on an airplane and it got blown up, that would be a tragedy!"
"Yes!" Says Bill Clinton "How do you know?" Matthew says happily, "It is definitely not an accident, and certainly not a great loss!"
I usually don’t make school shooting jokes.
Because they’re aimed at a younger audience.
Two boys are talking on the bus.
Boy 1: I feel like I'm forgetting something.
Boy 2: Hey, did you hear about that school shooting last week?
Boy 1: Oh, that's right.
I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised when I saw on the news that there was a school shooting in my shooting range. I don't know who snitched...
Want to know why parents don't get school shooting jokes?
Because they are aimed at a younger audience.
I went to the shooting range the other day. After a while, I realized I was the only one there. So, I decided to go home and saw on the news that there was a mass school shooting and there were reporters on the scene. Man, I knew I should have stayed around a little longer.
How do you start a school shooting at a black school?
Call the cops.
Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.
Students: Hiding under desk.
Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!
In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.
One of the students reported a school shooting.
That fucking snitch...
You call it a school shooting.
I call it an unfair shootout.